November Numbers

#44 girls (last month 47)
#33 boys (last month 36)
#16 siblings (last month 17)

Slow but steady. We had a fantastic Thanksgiving at Grandma and Grandpa's. I will post photos but need to find my phone adapter. Snowing in Wisconsin today!

October Numbers and Fall Photos

#47 girls (last month 48)
#36 boys (no change)
#17 siblings (last month 15) 

Sigh, these have been some slow referral months. There's not much news, not much to say about it, just waiting. I guess that's about it for this month's adoption update. [NOTE: Since I initially wrote this, there has been news of at least 5 referrals!]

So, besides chronicling the steps to our next child, this blog is also serves as the most reliable journal I keep. After a good reminder from other blogging moms, I finally printed all the blog posts from 2011 into a book. I have one now for 2009, 2010, and 2011. Seeing 2011 in print and recognizing how inadequately I journaled the events of that year, I am feeling some motivation to finish out 2012 a little bit better. 2012 is going to be a very skinny book if I don't do something about it soon.

So, a few fall highlights of Milfammilwaukee.

First field trip. Bear's been talking about moving to the Giraffe room at school with much anticipation for a few months now. Being a Giraffe is big deal in his words because 1) Giraffes don't wear diapers, and 2) Giraffes ride on a school bus to take field trips! This September, Bear and his friends took their very first field trip to the pumpkin patch. I don't know what was more thrilling, getting on the school bus, riding on the school bus, bouncing on the school bus, yelling on the school bus, or the pumpkin patch. It was also my first time being a parent chaperon. Whoa. My senses were exhausted after the 2 hour excursion with 100 swirling kids. I don't know how teachers do it! But the kids (and the parents) had a lot of fun. They learned about migrating animals, fed goats and llamas, ran through the corn maze, took a hayride, and last and perhaps least, picked their pumpkins from the patch. Bear's highlights were 1) riding a school bus, (hope I'm conveying how huge this was) 2) petting a snake, and 3) a raucous hay throw with friends and teachers. I think the pumpkin was just a nice take home bonus.

Visit from The Uncles. My sister is one of the most beautiful, lovely, fashionable, feminine women I know. Which makes it especially cute to me that Bear calls her Uncle. "Uncle B" to be precise. We were lucky to have a quick visit from Uncle B and Uncle Kevin in October. It allowed for another (muddy) trip to the pumpkin patch and corn maze, and the Great Pumpkin Carve of 2012. We also got to celebrate Uncle B's birthday. I LOVE how thoroughly loved Bear is by the Uncles.

New job. Dodd has had a lot of work life the past 3 years, not as much family life. He's been trying hard to get to a place that will allow more balance. He started in a new position this October that I think may finally get him there. We've seen more of him in the past few weeks than we've seen in a while. It's good to see Dada having fun again.

Halloween. Bear has a one track mind these days. Race cars. [Thanks to a birthday gift from grandma and grandpa, I have had the pleasure of watching Cars 2 more times than I can count in the past 3 months.] So when I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween, it was not surprising that he said "a race car!" I thought it would be fun to make the costume together but he did not like anything I came up with because it wasn't McQueen. However, he changed his mind when he saw the fire fighter jacket hanging next to the McQueen costume at Goodwill. So dressed as a fire fighter, he trick or treated his way through my workplace again this year. The kids came away with obscene amounts of candy. I am pleasantly surprised that he lost interest in the candy just a couple days later. Unfortunately I only got 1 photo of him in costume. 

Election. We talked about the election a lot. Bear even hung with me through a couple of the debates. He loved hearing NPR talk about Mitt Romney and President Obama on our morning drives to school/work. [Side note, when Bear was a baby, I felt guilty for listening to NPR in the car, feeling like I should be talking to my baby. But it was and still is, my only source for news as any reading and TV has gone by the wayside. However, when he broke out singing the NPR theme song with a big smile on his face as a toddler, I realized it was a positive thing. Now, if I turn it off while we drive, he asks me to turn the news back on.] It's important to us to teach Bear to respect leaders regardless of their views. We speak respectfully of both candidates. After hearing Obama in a debate, he said "Mama, he's a gooood talker!" After hearing Paul Ryan in the VP debate, he said "I like Paul Ryan, he's a good guy." He asked at least once a day when we were going to vote. When election day finally came, I asked him if he knew who we were going to vote for? He replied, "President O-Bomney!" I guess we are raising a moderate.

First day as a Giraffe

Hanging out with Dad and a chocolate milk at the historic grist mill

Mom, we're on a SCHOOL BUS!

Hay throw!

The Giraffes - how do you get14 three year olds in one photo?

Hanging out with Uncle B and Kevin. There were a few jokes about the donkey.

MUD makes a corn maze exciting to a 3 year old!

Happy Birthday Uncle B!

Bear's first presidential election.

I was so proud of how brave he was.

And now we march on into November. Wow, where has the year gone? Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

September Numbers and Half The Sky Tonight!

48 girls (last month 49)
36 boys (last month 36) 
15 siblings (last month 15) 


There is a documentary airing on PBS tonight and tomorrow night that's too good and too important not to share. If you have been overwhelmed and hurt by the things happening to women and children on this planet, watch this! It will help you get smarter about the realities facing women and girls around the world AND it will motivate and inspire you. If you don't know what I'm talking about, definitely watch this! It will be worth your time.

Happy Referralversary Bub! #3

Three years ago yesterday we looked on this face for the very first time.

September 2009

Now this is the face before us. 

September 22, 2012

A new teacher in his class at church today told us,  "He has this incredible zest for life. It's like he's so excited to be on the planet." That's our Bear. We saw it in fuzzy photos 3 years ago, and we are blessed by it today. I am the luckiest mama.

Dästa. Joy. Energy. Love. You. Bub. 

August Numbers

#49 girls (last month 53) 
#36 boys (last month 39) 
#15 sibs (last month 15)

Another waiting story for this month. 

Every night at bedtime after we read books, Bear gets all snuggly and asks for one final story. "Tell me bout Baby Bereket mama." His eyes just glow as he asks. Then I tell him all about mama and dada's long search for Baby Bereket. I try to add new details as he is able to comprehend them. He likes that his story is evolving over time. The basic story involves mama and dada talking to God, all the places we looked for Baby Bereket (which usually involves various locations in the house and yard), the people who helped us, finding day (referral day), Ethiopia, and the day God's promise came true (gotcha day). I usually leave a few seconds of silence between each of those chapters. This drives him crazy with anticipation. Then I ask him why it's so quiet. He knows the answer. "Bee-cause you wait!"

Just this weekend I realized that hearing his story is helping Bear understand what is going on now as we wait for baby brother or sister. He was 18 months when we started the adoption process again and it was hard to tell what he understood and what he didn't. Now at three, he is starting to tune in. Yesterday he decided he wanted to wear pull-ups again. I told him I put them away because we are saving them for baby brother or sister. We talk about baby brother and sister but the conversation doesn't go any further than mentioning their name. It surprised me when he asked more.

"Ohhhh, they in E-tee-O-pia mom?" Without thinking about it I said yes they were. I was just relieved he wasn't going to throw a toddler fit about the pull-up. But he got super excited. 

"We go there NOW mama? Bring them home?" Shoot. I didn't realize he would take my answer literally. He thought I was saying we got the call.

"I go with WITH you mama? I get my backpack!" Shoot, shoot, shoot. How do I explain? 

I said I wished we could go to Ethiopia right now, but we haven't found them yet. This clicked in his brain. He loves the looking and finding part of his own story. 

"You are looking and looking!" Yes bub, we are looking really hard. And you know what we have to do right now?

"Wait!" You got it kiddo.

Dear Grandma and Grandpa

Dear Grandma and Grandpa, 

Thank you for.....

Letting me come visit you and.....

Your love of rocks...

Keeping up with me at the beach...

Making sure I get to 6 feet... 

My truck birthday cake....hauling my favorite...blueberries!

 And for just plain...

Loving me!

I had a great 3rd birthday with you!

Love, 

Bear

July Numbers - Ahh good news!

• 53 on the girls list (last month 64)
• 39 on the boys list (last month 49)
• 15 on the siblings list (last month 22)

As you can see from the numbers, this has been a good month of positive adoption news. After a couple months with little movement, referrals came through like a flood this month! Besides that, court dates are coming really fast after referral, and embassy clearance, which has been so difficult in the past year is coming very quickly as well. The new rigorous investigative procedures Almaz put in place in Ethiopia seem to have slowed down referrals for some time, but are paying off now. Seeing the numbers this month even got Dodd's attention. They make us excited for us and just plain happy for the kids who are getting a family. Ah, blessed good news, we love you!

The good news AGCI foreshadowed last month was a new orphanage relationtionship. The orphanage, called Miskaye Children's Welfare Association, serves children from the Benishangul-Gumuz region in Ethiopia. The region, located in northwestern Ethiopia near the Sudanese border, is described as "a beautiful and forested area that is quite remote and has high rates for malaria." The children referred from Miskaye will not move to Hannah's Hope right away. They will stay in the care of Miskaye until after the court hearing. This is a different approach for AGCI and we are interested to see how it goes. 

A little waiting story I thought I would share. Bear and I were at a rummage sale last month. The woman was selling lots of girl clothes, all freshly washed and folded neatly in perfect lines on three different tables. Seeing Bear, she asked if I was looking for boys clothes and I said yes, but said that considering how well kept everything was maybe I should take a leap and just buy some girl clothes. This made her ask if I was expecting. I took brief moment to decide which way to answer the question. I really didn't want to have a long conversation at a rummage sale so I just said yes, no further explanation. She proceeded to ask how far along I was. Again I had to decide how to answer and decided to have some fun and go for it. "About 12 months," I said, no further explanation. I thought she would kind of get it since Bear was in my arms, but my response made her eyes pop, then the confusion set in. I did take the time to explain my answer and be a good adoption "educator", but I took some guilty pleasure in the initial shock value. A girl's got to have some fun in the waiting. :)

Our homestudy and clearance checks are about to expire so I am in the process of renewing them. I will be busy with that while hoping for another great month in August!

June Numbers

• 64 on the girls list (last month 67)
• 49 on the boys list (last month 52)
• 22 on the siblings list (last month 23)

There were several referrals that went out last week that aren't reflected in our wait list numbers today. Congratulations to those families! Most have been waiting about 2 years on the wait list. AGCI is promising exciting news for wait list families this weekend. Not sure what they have up their sleeves but interested to receive the email.

Happy steamy July! Whew it's hot!

May Numbers in June

• 67 on the girls list (last month 69)
• 52 on the boys list (last month 55)
• 23 on the siblings list (last month 22)

May numbers came while I was traveling for work in Poland. As you can see, it's taken me a while to get back on track since coming home. The numbers are also not terribly encouraging so I have not been excited to post them.

Last week marked one complete year of being on the wait list. Waiting through this last year has not been bad.  Now, looking at the possibility of 2-3 more years of waiting I am beginning to feel some waiting pains. I do not feel anxious, but I do feel a sense of urgency that I am not sure what to do with. I guess that's a good indication that I need to do some praying and soul searching about what, if anything to change about our current situation.

In the meantime, life has been full and busy! One little Bear got his first real haircut! Until now, poor kid has had Mom snipping his hair with the Fiskars. I've put off a real haircut because I love all that beautiful wispy baby hair that grows around his hairline.  I didn't want to see that go. Fortunately, he still has it, it's just tidied up a little now. We were very excited when his teacher Brittney and her daughter came to watch and lend additional moral support. Bear was very brave, only cried once and that was because his sucker got covered up by the apron. He looked and acted like such a big boy. His hair was so smooth and even. I have not been able to replicate those results since. We went out for a Culver's hamburger afterward. Yes, a hamburger! I think I have to post a food/vegetarian update.

April Numbers and April Life

• #69 on the girl’s list (last month #70)
• #55 on the boy’s list (last month #57)
• #22 on the sibling’s list (last month #23)

Bear likes to sleep with two little stuffed animal lambs every night. Lately he's been carefully laying them side by side on the pillow next to him, tucking them in with his favorite blankie and calling them his sisters. Hmmm. 

As for life around here, Spring came early to Wisconsin this year. The month of April was beautiful with life; early grass, early flowers, early leaves on the trees. April also ushered in 3 big firsts for Bear. 


Flying Solo. Occasionally I have to travel for work. Through trial and much error, I've learned how to manage the travel to keep our family healthy. I basically limit the number of nights away to two and try not to travel more than once every couple months. This month I had to be gone 5 nights for some work in a location just 2 hours away from where my parents live.  So Bear took his first business trip with Mama and stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's while Mama worked. Traveling on the plane together without Dada was interesting. His new Thomas backpack, oodles of snacks, and 29 trips to the airplane restroom got us through the 4 hour flight. Barely! This was the first time he stayed overnight with someone other than Mom or Dad. I think it went well. He even got to spend time with Auntie and Uncle who came up to see him. He was happy as a clam tho I think Grandma and Grandpa were thoroughly worn out! Thanks you guys!


Easter Bunny: The Easter Bunny made his first appearance ever at Bear's house this month. Bear was pretty excited to find the eggs he left and Mama thought it was really fun to be "behind the scenes" with the Easter Bunny for the first time. I tried to snap some pictures of how a 2-1/2 year old experiences Easter. The photo below does not do justice to the full blown chaos that came to our home. I'm not sure if Bear enjoyed the hunting or the dumping of eggs more. There was stuff everywhere!

Underpants: We've been so not deliberate with potty training and I was beginning to feel a little bit negligent. Lots of Bear's friends at school have been potty trained for many months but I was just not that anxious to jump in. I finally realized that Bear was more ready than I was. My issue? I had to get over my dread of the public restroom. I think it was being locked in an airplane restroom with him earlier in the month, with both of us coming into contact with more of that tiny vile space than I could have ever dreamed in my worst nightmare that forced me to turn off those filters finally. So we took the plunge last week and he's doing GREAT! His teacher said that he pulled down his pants in excitement to show each teacher in the center his underpants. So now we are working on "Tell, Don't Show." And now look what Mom's doing. Showing on the blog! I just think this is one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

That's it for the April post....posted in May!

March Numbers

#70 on the girl’s list (last month #76)

#57 on the boy’s list (last month #61)

#23 on the sibling’s list (last month #26)


March marks nine months on the waitlist. The significance of 9 months has not escaped me. There is no due date in sight. However, we knew this was going to be a long haul when we signed up and so the waiting has not been bad. Something has shifted in my thinking this month though. Maybe I am allowing myself to think a little bit more about the realness of our next child. Something just feels different.

This little shift makes me wonder if there might be something significant going on in Ethiopia this month. Something significant in the life of the child who will one day be our son or daughter. Some would call it superstition, but I have come to know adoption well enough to think twice and pay attention to little feelings, little promptings, little signs. I've also come to know adoption well enough to realize this would also mean there is pain which then burdens me to pray.

Bear seems to be feeling more ready too. He told me this week that Almaz called him on his cell phone all the way from Hannah's Hope in Ethiopia to tell him about baby sister. Then he yelled "woo hoo" and jumped in my arms for a celebration. The weight of waiting is greatly lifted from us this time by our Bear. This fact too has not escaped me.

Little Boyfriend

When Bear first came home, someone I didn't know very well said to me, "Just wait til he's a little older. Little boys are like little boyfriends."

At first I didn't quite know how to respond. I wasn't sure where the comment was leading, but the conversation shifted to something else and I didn't think too much more about it.

Until recently.

Now I think am beginning to understand what she was talking about. Oh man, Bear charms my socks off sometimes. At 2-1/2, he frequently doesn't know how charming he is. Which makes it really fun because it's so innocent.

I want to share some of our little conversations that illustrate what I'm talking about. These sweet little love notes just keep coming out of his mouth. I can't figure out where they are coming from since he does not hear talk like this from his Dada! Here's a sampling.

................................................................
Bear says to me as I am walking down the stairs after getting ready for work:
Oh mama, pretty necklace! I LOVE it!
.................................................................
Last Saturday morning as he crawled into bed with me:
Me:    Good Morning Bub, did you have sweet dreams?
Bear:  Yeah.
Me:    What did you dream about?
Bear's eyes sparkle as he whispers:  Mama! Then he breaks out the sweetest uncontainable smile.
...................................................................
He slayed me with this one. After going pee pee on the potty (we're sort of potty training) I was having a hard time putting his diaper back on while he was standing up. I stood over him and put my arms around him to try to keep him from wiggling and get it fastened again.
Bear looked up at me, gently stroked my face, and said, "Beauuutifal."
[I had to explain afterwards that it wasn't his going pee pee that made mama cry.]
.....................................................................
We finally transitioned him to a big boy bed over the weekend. It's Dodd's old futon from grad school with a new mattress. I slept with Bear most of the night that first night so he wouldn't be afraid. I woke up around 2am sensing a little hand squeezing my cheeks together. Next thing I knew, my face was being gently turned. Without my suspecting anything, he planted a kiss on my lips. Then without a word, he fell back to sleep.
.........................................................................
Bear and I have dinner each night just the two of us because Dodd is usually not home from work yet. These dinner conversations have turned into, well, actual little conversations.

Wednesday's conversation:
Bear:  You have good day work mom? Shovels some food in his mouth.
Me, a little bit startled that he initiated the question: Why yes Bub, I did.
Bear: You see you friends?
Me, even more startled he hit the conversational ping pong back a second time: Why yes, I did see my friends.
Bear: Ohhhh, that's good. Keeps eating.

Friday night's conversation. This one troubles me a little bit because I wasn't aware I was communicating an emotion to him. My busy boy is usually more tuned into me than I realize, even when he was a baby:
Bear:   You sad mama?
Me:     You know, I guess I am a little sad kiddo.
Bear:   Don't be sad mama! I give you hug?
Me:     Yeah, Mom would like that.
Bear reaches over the dinner table to give me a hug and pat my arm.
Bear:   You happy?
Me:     Wow, now I am kiddo.
.........................................................
I often play the "Do you know how much I love you?" game with him. If he says no, I always start with "I love you more than all the stars in the sky." Then if he still wants to play I go to "Higher than the moon." Each time I try to tack on a new one. "Brighter than the sun, deeper than the ocean, more than all the fishies in the sea."

When I asked him a few weeks ago in the car if he knew how much I loved him, I got a very matter of fact reply:   All da starrrs, mooon, sky, sunshine, fishies.......[long pause]........ocean, and......ALL DA CROCODILES, chomp chomp!"

His custom, all boy addition to the liturgy had me laughing. Then he turned his head as if he was talking to someone else and said the following. He shook his arm with each word for emphasis, much like a preacher would.

Bear:  My sweet mama loves me much much!
...........................................................................
When Dodd squeezed my knees while we were all on the sofa watching The Jungle Book, I laughed and mock sternly asked him to STOP tickling me. Bear looked over at Dodd and very firmly said, "No Dada, Mama noan like." Then Bear covered my knees with his body, looked at me and said "I keep you safe Mom."
...........................................................................
My little boyfriend even gets jealous. If another child sits on my lap, holds my hand, or wants to read a story, he puts one hand on me and puts his other hand out in front of the child and says, "No, MY Mama!" I have decided Bear is allowed to be possessive in the name of attachment but we are going to have to work on this a little bit to prepare for little brother or sister. Fortunately we have some time.
..........................................................................

Like I said, he is coming up with this on his own. Dodd does NOT say this stuff to me and I don't say it to Dodd. I don't know how long this little stage will last but I unashamedly admit I am enjoying it. It makes up for his other 2-1/2 year old moments that involve fits and "No" and temper tantrums.

I figure if I don't document these things now, I might forget there was a time he thought I was all that. If I don't forget I'm pretty sure he will. When he does, I will have no problem pulling out this blog post to remind him.

My boy. Sigh. I can't help it. It doesn't help that he seems to get more handsome every day!

Snowy Day

I started this post last weekend when there were a couple inches of snow on the ground and we went sledding down the hill in our front yard. This weekend is sunny, all the snow has melted and it might get to 60 degrees. The sun kind of kills the fun of a snow post but that's ok, I will take the sun in March. I don't really expect to complete anything on time these days anyway!

I bought the book Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats for Bear this past November in anticipation of our winter ahead. It quickly became his favorite book. For a little stretch there we were reading it 2 to 3 times a day. I love that the little boy in the story is dark chocolate like Bear.

I've been looking forward to this winter since last winter, knowing this year at 2-1/2 years old, Bear would be able to run and play and really get into the fun of it.  I am a kid who grew up in California, so even though I've lived in the Midwest for many years, snow still has a mystique. As kids, we only played in the snow on the occasional family trip to Tahoe. I used to think it would be soooooo cool to have snow right outside your door to play in. Yes, I've been very excited to share this with Bear.

So we've been reading about snow angels and snowball fights for months. I've been telling Bear that as soon as it snows we will go out for our very own Snowy Day. We've had the snowpants hanging in the mudroom, ready. He's been thrilled to clomp around in his ginormous (size 10) snow boots all through January and February. But as luck would have it, Wisconsin has been unusually snow free this winter. And on the days we have had snow it's been bitter and dark and not very friendly for frolicking outdoors.

We finally got our break a couple weekends ago. There was only an inch or so on the ground but the sun came out, the wind died down, and out into the wonderland we went. Mama and Bear. We did it all!

We made our first snow angels

We had our first snowball fight.

(I may have created a monster. He loved throwing snowballs at mama a little too much.)

And when our fingers and toes finally got too cold, we came back inside to warm up and....ate our first bowl of snow ice cream.

We both think snow ice cream is yummy!

Dodd and I are finding Bear's toddler stage a blast. It has its challenges for sure but there is so much joy in watching him engage in his world. Maybe I will write more about this in the future. Of course it will probably take another year to get it done.

Happy Snowy Day!

February Numbers

Leap Day brought new numbers. Here they are....

  #76 on the girl’s list (last month #80)

  #61 on the boy’s list (last month #66)

  #26 on the sibling’s list (last month #27)


US Embassy clearances flooded in this week for several families who have been stuck waiting for many months. So all those families are heading to Ethiopia this weekend to bring their kids home at last. Four new referrals went out last week, including the referral of a beautiful little girl who was considered waiting. Much joy the past couple weeks within the AGCI community!

January Numbers

January numbers came in just as January was closing.

#80 on the girl’s list (last month #83)
#66 on the boy’s list (last month #69)
#27 on the sibling’s list (last month #26)

We are a few steps closer to our next child. Just a simple calculation, if we were to continue moving 3 spots a month, we have another 2 years of waiting for referral day. Ugh. Trying not to think about that.

With so many things changing in Ethiopian adoption, it's hard to keep up with even when you're in the middle of the process with much at stake. From the orphanage closures in the South, to additional scrutiny from the US embassy, we are constantly reminded this is a perilous journey. Surprisingly, the court process has been relatively smooth considering the concern last spring about MOWA greatly reducing the number of cases it reviews. However, there is news now that the courts are going to close for a month this winter. Not sure the impact this will have. On a happy note, all 6 of the AGCI babies who were in danger of being returned to the South are finally home and, I imagine blissfully unaware of all it took to get them there!

We will continue to wait and watch and pray.