Five years ago today

We got started with this…..

And now we have this…..

                                       

Silly, squirmy, and bandaged (fell off his bike over the weekend) and life has never been sweeter. 

It's a beautiful day!

Happy Referralversary Bubba Joe. What would we do without you.

We love you about everything.

May June July update

So many people ask about what's going on in Haiti. "I thought you were supposed to get a fast referral in Haiti, with a long wait AFTER referral?" I know, I say. It used to be that way, but the process is changing. And so we are still waiting for a referral. But the changes are good.

Once Haiti gained Hague accreditation status on April 1, we watched with anticipation to see if IBESR would begin making matches again with regularity. In April, there was much excitement when AGCI received 2 matches from IBESR. Then another family in Canada not with AGCI but with Rivers of Hope also received a match. We were starting to get excited.

Our caseworker confirmed what I suspected, we are at or near the top of "the list." It's not too hard to figure out. There are just 12 families waiting. There isn't really a list. But it seems matches at Rivers of Hope are going out in roughly the same order that dossiers are submitted to IBESR. If you follow this, we are probably next in line. We were preparing to go into standby mode, with the possibility of travel to Haiti coming in the spring or early summer.

Then at the beginning of May, IBESR announced a procedural change. The legal relinquishment process for birth parents has historically occurred in Parquet (court) after a child has been matched with an adoptive family. Now IBESR is requiring this step to be complete before a match can be made. This is a good, positive change. It will protect all the stakeholders in the adoption process. It also has the potential to save several months of waiting after referral. Less waiting after referral would be fantastic, we'll take it. Unfortunately, the change in process has delayed new matches, official referrals, and bonding trips as IBESR gets this all figured out. We've heard they had to hire a judge and essentially set up a brand new children's court.

This was hard to hear when our hopes were high. Just a few days after we learned the news, we had the pleasure of having dinner with a handful of AGCI families in Chicago.  Because we were late to the dinner, we were also the last family to leave the restaurant. We wound up in a deep conversation with our agency director, Hollen, and development director, Frank, about everything under the sun related to helping vulnerable children. It was inspiring.

Hollen was excited about what a positive change in process this is for Haiti. I told her I couldn't agree more. And then I blurted out, BUT WE ARE AT THE TOP OF THE FREAKING LIST! She laughed and compassionately told me to hold on. 

She said the children at Rivers of Hope are AMAZING! Wait until you meet them. Rachel is AMAZING. What you are waiting for is GOOD. I promise you.

Of course we know this, but it felt good to hear her say it.

We will wait. We know what we are waiting for is totally worth it.

Little one, YOU are worth waiting for.

There are some indications that things are starting to move again. Fingers crossed!

How many fingerprints does it take...

We began the month of April with a 4th visit to the Milwaukee Department of Homeland Security, for a 4th biometric screening. Fingerprints. Sent to the FBI for immigration approval.  They need to make sure we have not committed any crimes since the last time we were fingerprinted...a year ago.

They can't just run prints through the database again. They have to take new prints.

These trips to Homeland Security are in addition to the 3 other times we've been fingerprinted, also for FBI background checks. Apparently they are run through different databases that don't talk to each other. 

So we have been fingerprinted at least 7 times for 3 adoptions. All for the FBI. All but 2 times involved a fee. 

The day before our biometric appointment, we received a letter from USCIS (Immigration) with a Request For Evidence. They were unable to process our I600A, Application for Advanced Processing of Orphan, because our 15 page home study did not include two words. Strange, we've used this home study for two other successful I600As. 

But alas, the two words were missing, so there was another call to the social worker, another update, another trip to the post office.

Ah the inefficiency. I blog about this for one reason. I want to remember this when we get stuck. 

We got stuck in Ethiopia bringing Bear home. Legal blip that seemed to make no sense. A letter needed at the court hearing was locked in a file cabinet at a government office and the only person with keys was away on vacation. 

I'm sure we will get stuck somewhere in the Haiti legal process. It seems like no one makes it through a Haitian adoption without unexplained delays or frustrating, even conflicting technicalities. With the new laws and procedural changes, there are going to be blips. Perhaps several. 

When the blips come, I want to remember that we can get stuck anywhere. Inefficiency and confusion can be a part of any legal process. Maybe this will help for perspective. Maybe it won't!

And now a little update. It looks like the match maker is back. More referrals from Rivers of Hope! Including the first family we know of like ours that was not pre-matched with a child. So happy for these kids and their future families. These families are now preparing to travel. Hoping for more good news on the horizon!

Adoption Update

Time for an overdue update. Here's where we're at. Nothing new for us personally. We're still operating on three "ings"; trusting, hoping, waiting.

        In Haiti we are waiting to be matched with one of the children living at Rivers of Hope.

        In Ethiopia we are still on the wait list somewhere in the teens.

Haiti Update

December seemed like a good month, things were moving. Our agency was the first to receive official matches under the new law. IBESR made a few more new matches for families with other agencies.  Both of the matched AGCI families were preparing to travel to Haiti in January for a socialization trip.  This 2 week socialization trip is a new requirement, designed for adoptive family to meet and bond with child. During the visit, a social worker from IBESR comes to observe how well everyone is attaching to one another and to assess the adoptive family's readiness and motivation to adopt.

In January, we heard that the "match maker" at IBESR quit. We have not heard of new matches since then and there is rumor that matches won't resume again until March. A few families have traveled for bonding trips, including one of the two families with our agency. As of today, we know of only one family (not with our agency) who has "passed" after socialization and moved on to the next step which is court. Since all of this is so new, lots of us are closely following each family's steps. So far, it's hard to find common threads in the experiences of these pioneer families.

Last week, some good news! The US State Department, USCIS, and the US Ambassador to Haiti conducted a conference call to inform stakeholders that Haiti will receive Hague accreditation on April 1. The simplest explanation of Hague is a set of standards designed to protect birth families, children, and adoptive families from fraud, corruption, and coercion. Hearing the US government praise the work Haiti has done and publicly state their support for the welfare of Haiti's children was encouraging.  This was welcomed news in light of a lot of bad press about international adoption lately.

We see new photos of the kids at Rivers of Hope every few days. We see them growing and changing. We find ourselves becoming attached to a couple of them. We are hoping March will be our month to find out WHO! I have my theories...

Ethiopia Update

Here, I am forced to talk about bad news. I'm sorry to report that a lot of bad press has involved Ethiopia. In December, just after Christmas, an Ethiopian official called for the immediate closure of international adoption from Ethiopia. Since then, there has not been a closure, but a lot of rumors are still circulating. Referrals are still few, especially for younger children.

In January, a US adoption agency working in Ethiopia was closed. This month the US Department of Justice announced that 4 employees of a different American agency were indicted for fraud. These stories are so frustrating knowing that the vast majority of adoptions are legitimate, and there are still children who need a family.

We knew when we signed up for Ethiopia 3 years ago that the worst case scenario, closure, was possible. What we didn't foresee was 3 years of extreme slowness and ambiguity. Many families in the Ethiopia program are struggling with tough decisions about what to do next, including us.

………………………….

Through all of this we have friends who are caught up in the very center of new laws in Haiti or pending changes in Ethiopia. We are celebrating with friends who have made it home with their children despite every conceivable obstacle thrown their way. And praying with friends who are still pushing their way through, still knocking down barriers. Ah this wild ride. With all that is swirling around us, we are trusting in the knowledge that we are right where God wants us. I can say that with confidence this time, because I've been there before, and He was faithful. We trust in His provision once again.

We're In IBESR!

While we were on Thanksgiving vacation with Dodd's parents, I received an email from our caseworker, Kate, letting us know that we are officially in IBESR! We entered on 11/26 and have a case number. For those following timelines, it took about 5 weeks for our dossier to be legalized in Haiti before it went back to IBESR. It feels great to be official and made for a thankful Thanksgiving!

Dodd and I sure thought 2013 was going to be the year that we met our next child. With 2.5 years on the wait list in Ethiopia, never did we think we might be waiting another 2-3 years from now.

Then when we signed up for Haiti this summer, we thought a referral would come quickly, and all of the waiting would come on the back end after referral. I didn't fully appreciate all the sub-steps required to get to this point after the Haiti dossier left our hands…translation, authentication US, authentication Haitian consulate, transit time to Haiti, receive at IBESR, contact attorney, legalization in Haiti.

I also did not fully understand what was happening with IBESR. IBESR is Haiti's department of social services. In adoption, it's role is like MOWA's in Ethiopia. There was very little activity in IBESR, especially over the summer, as laws and processes were being rewritten. This created a backlog. There are at least 500 family dossiers waiting for IBESR approval, and at least as many children waiting whose cases need to be re-approved under the new process. In the old process, families and children were pre-matched by an agency or creche, then IBESR would approve the match once they approved the dossier. This allowed referrals to made soon after a dossier was complete in the US. The new process does not allow for pre-matching. IBESR does the matching now after the child's and the family's dossiers have been approved by them. To my knowledge, there are no new process families like ours (not pre-matched) who have been approved by IBESR.

So we know a referral will probably not come this year. But when I think about the actual words we prayed, we asked that 2013 would be the year we saw the face of our next child.

And that means it's very likely our prayer has been answered.

That's because the face of our next child can probably be found in the beautiful collection of faces below. These are the children at Rivers of Hope who have not been matched with families. Dodd and I look at these faces so many times a day. Our Internet history will show the truth about how many trips we take to this website. It's nothing short of surreal to look on these faces and know that one is going to be ours! But Which One?

Seeing these faces has also given us the chance to pray for all of these kids and we are also sponsoring two of them until they are matched with a family. These faces and the waiting are drawing us closer to Haiti. And it helps make the one we wait for more real. It's also making me miss her/him a lot as the Christmas tree and stockings went up this week.

And just in case, I am still praying for a phone call before the end of year. Why would I make myself crazy, I know. It's ok to pray for miracles, right? Whether or not a call comes, there will be a stocking hanging on our mantel this year waiting for one of these.

If you're interested you can read a little about each of the children here. If you feel compelled, there is a need for sponsorship to care for these kids until they are matched with a family. And if you think you know which one, let us know!

The waiting

The waiting has become more difficult. Perhaps because knowledge of our next child feels more imminent. This isn't anxiety, wondering if it will ever happen. This is more a sense that it will, but we must plod, not run to it. I've opened my myself up emotionally, I can feel it. It's harder to plod when your heart is open. Be steady. Plod. Not exciting, but necessary.

Found this poem by accident and have read it many times over. It puts words to the longing. It's as if the author looked into me when penning these words.

Even it's cadence gives the feel of the tide; steady, monotonous, purposeful.

We keep moving toward you little one...

Waiting

Serene, I fold my hands and wait,

Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea;

I rave no more ’gainst time or fate,

For lo! my own shall come to me.

I stay my haste, I make delays,

For what avails this eager pace?

I stand amid the eternal ways,

And what is mine shall know my face.

Asleep, awake, by night or day,

The friends I seek are seeking me;

No wind can drive my bark astray,

Nor change the tide of destiny.

What matter if I stand alone?

I wait with joy the coming years;

My heart shall reap where it hath sown,

And garner up its fruit of tears.

The waters know their own and draw

The brook that springs in yonder height;

So flows the good with equal law

Unto the soul of pure delight.

The stars come nightly to the sky;

The tidal wave unto the sea;

Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,

Can keep my own away from me.

—John Burroughs

Dossier in Haiti

We received good news while traveling last week. Our caseworker received our dossier back from the Haiti consular office in the Washington DC last week Thursday. (My dad's 70th birthday.) She sent it off to IBESR in Haiti on the same day.

This means we are finally in Haiti -- via the dossier! It took about 2 weeks for the dossier to be translated, and another 2-3 weeks to be authenticated by the Haiti consulate in the US. There is no more US work to be done to prep our file to enter the process in country.

Once IBESR receives the dossier, they will notify the attorney who works with our creche, Rivers of Hope, and who is representing us in Haiti to pick up the paperwork and submit it to Foreign Affairs for legalization in Haiti. We have been told to expect about 3 weeks to complete legalization. 

Once legalized, the dossier will go back to IBESR. IBESR will review our paperwork and, if all goes well, approve our family to adopt a child from their country. 

There was more good news coming for other families adopting from Haiti last week. I am so happy that two families from our agency who have been waiting on IBESR for over a year finally received approval to proceed with adopting their children. They received referrals right before the laws were changed and have been waiting since.

One agency said it feels like there might finally be light at the end of a long tunnel called Haiti adoption reforms. For our family, we are in an interesting spot in that we are starting this process just at the time that the reforms are being finalized and implemented. Kind of like driving on a road that has just been repaved. So new I can smell the asphalt!