Friday, August 30, 2013

Choosing a School

Next week Bear starts school! Seems like we've been talking about where to send him to school probably since the time he started walking. Back then, he was so little and school felt like a lifetime away. We knew we had to start thinking about it though, realizing it might take a while to find the right place. We realized fairly early on that our local public schools would probably not be able to provide him with the level of attention he needs, nor do they offer the diversity we desire. Our semi rural Midwest community is tolerant of diversity but it is still a long way from embracing it, and it is not diverse. As a mom of biracial girls recently put it to me, "We knew we had to do better."

Choosing a school feels like one of the most important decisions we are making for him. Launching him well now in the early years will impact how he feels about himself and school going forward. We see so much potential in this son of ours! We also see potential challenges. He's an incredibly bright, curious, and naturally athletic kid with an exuberant personality who has a passion for fun and more energy than a nuclear power plant. He also has a dominant, competitive side and likes to be in charge. In the right environment, these things are viewed as strengths and developed as such. In the wrong environment, he can be labeled as a troublemaker and the strengths become weaknesses. We've already seen both scenarios play out in different classrooms at daycare.

We aren't sure how he will do in a traditional school environment because of how busy and independent he is. His brain is as busy as his body, and while he moves a mile a minute he also takes in a lot of information. I often say a perfect school would be on wheels and it would drive beside him while he runs. He is going to need structure, discipline, and teachers who can keep him engaged. 

Dodd and I place a lot of emphasis on education. Our friends in college used to tease Dodd that he majored in knowledge. (He spent 7 years in undergrad, just taking as many classes as he could and loving every last unit. Friends have also pointed out that this is a little bit nerdy.) He's talked about homeschooling our kids from time to time so he can give them a proper classical education. We want Bear to have an academically excellent school. We also want a school that teaches values that align with our family's values. This is so important. He's going to experience different values in his walk through this world, but at this very young formative age, we want teachers and a school that will reinforce what we are working diligently to instill at home. 

So we've been looking and we think we've found a school that offers: 
  • Diversity
  • Academic excellence
  • Christian values
  • Emphasis on character
  • A place where they "get" him

It's a private school and not one I would have considered on my own. I have my boss to to thank for pointing us to it. For the past six years he has shared stories as his daughter went through middle and high school at AB.  I was impressed with how much the teachers invested in her and how hard they worked to help each kid realize their unique gifts. When she graduated from high school and was accepted at Princeton last fall, he was the proudest dad I have ever seen. Shortly after that, he sat me down and said, "I really think you and Dodd should consider sending Bear to AB." I didn't think seriously about the school for Bear, making assumptions that it was too expensive, too rigid for a busy boy, and probably not diverse. He encouraged us to take a tour and reminded me of this, "What better thing can you spend your money on?"

So last winter we toured. When we walked into the kindergarten classroom I got goosebumps. There were more brown skinned kids in the class than peachy. Bear blended beautifully into the assortment of colors we saw, dark to light to in between. All the kids stood as we entered the room and happily greeted us. Then they went back to independently working on their own activities. The learning was interactive and was happening away from desks and tables. There were just 10 children in the class as that's the maximum class size. The teacher came to talk with Bear and was at once engaging. She got his mind going with just a couple sentences. Before the tour, we did not think of the school as religious, and it's not, but we learned that it operates from a strong core of Judeo Christian values. Being independent, it can celebrate things like Christmas pageants and teachers are free to share their faith.

Here's what clinched our decision. Over time, I talked with other teachers, parents, and students and was surprised at the theme that emerged. Love. I was not expecting to find love in a school. I thought we might find caring, but this is more than caring. The teachers and staff are passionate. They feel called to their profession and the school. They watch out for each kid long after the kids leave their classrooms. In return, the kids and the parents love their school. Older kids actually gush about how great it is. Teenagers who love their school? Really? It feels like a really healthy place for our Bear.

So our little one who is now four will begin school in just a few days! How did it come so fast? 4k makes school come sooner than I thought it would. He is excited. The whole family is excited. I will be a wreck on the first day of school, but that is a post still to come.



Saturday, August 17, 2013

Anatomy of a Dossier

A four year old getting fingerprints must mean there's an adoption going on!



(He didn't need fingerprinting, but wanted to do his part after watching us. The nice lady at the fingerprint shop ran him through the scanner just for fun. And can you believe there are fingerprint shops now? We had FBI clearance back in email before we made it home. Much different than going to the county jail, mailing them off, then waiting for a month or more for clearance.)

The past month has been spent on the part of the adoption process often called the paper chase. I was not looking forward to doing this again. Kind of dreading it actually, because it's time consuming and can be frustrating, where something as simple as a typo can cause delays and heartburn. Assembling a home study and dossier requires a massive mobilization of personal, professional, and governmental contacts. Doctors, bankers, employers, family, friends, counselors, local law enforcement, US Immigration, the FBI.  In our two previous chases it took 4-6 months to get everything together and approved. This time, it appears to be going faster and smoother, but we have not sent anything off for approval yet.

Dossier: (pronounced "doss-ee-ay") An international adoption dossier is a packet of official documents required by the laws of the country where the parents plan to adopt.

Home study: A screening of the home and life of prospective adoptive parents prior to allowing an adoption to take place. Usually an extensive written report prepared by a licensed social worker.

People have asked about the differences between Ethiopian and Haitian adoption requirements. The Haiti dossier is basically the same as the Ethiopian dossier with two major differences. Difference #1- Haiti requires a psychological evaluation of each adoptive parent as well as a letter of recommendation from the psychologist. This has been the only delay this time. It took time to get in to see someone, and since the counselor has never performed an adoption assessment before, he's trying figure out how best to write it up. Difference #2 - Every document must be notarized AND authenticated in the state where it was notarized. The Ethiopian dossier only required one document to be authenticated.

Haiti Dossier Checklist
Passport Copy Adoptive Father
Passport Copy Adoptive Mother
Attestation that passport is a true copy Adoptive Father
Attestation that passport is a true copy Adoptive Mother
Letter to the Director of IBESR
Birth Certificate Adoptive Father
Birth Certificate Adoptive Mother
Marriage License
Power of Attorney
Medical Evaluation Adoptive Father
Medical Evaluation Adoptive Mother
Letter from Employer Adoptive Father
Letter from Employer Adoptive Mother
Bank Letter
Homestudy
Psychological Evaluation Adoptive Father
Psychological Evaluation Adoptive Mother
Letter from Psychologist
Criminal Background Check Adoptive Father
Criminal Background Check Adoptive Mother
Letter of Recommendation #1
Letter of Recommendation #2
Copy of Immigration Approval

The home study requirements were essentially the same, but because our home study was two years old, we had to update a handful of things. When our social worker came to the house, it felt like having an old friend over. We've gotten to know each other well in the past 5 years. Bear was excited to see her again because he knows the part she played in his coming home story. He knows she helped us find him, and now she's helping us find baby brother/baby sister. He cried as she left the house because he thought she was going to drive us (in the Subaru) to Haiti that day. 

Here is a picture of my mom in Sacramento, getting 3 California documents authenticated for us. She is holding my birth certificate, our marriage license, and a beautiful letter of recommendation from my sister. A letter that makes me cry each time I read it. Mom and Dad drove the documents to the California Secretary of State's office, had them authenticated, then personally delivered them to us when they came to visit.


I have so many people to thank for helping us once again, and moving so quickly on our behalf. We are just waiting for the psych evaluation to be written, then everything will go to Madison for authentication. The home study update was submitted to AGCI for approval last week. It's possible that everything could be ready as early as next week. Keep your fingers crossed. Time to get this bus (Subaru?) moving.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Miller Family News!

We are very excited to share some family news. We've begun a third adoption! This time we are adopting from Haiti! Are you surprised? So are we! This was not our plan. We did not pursue this, but feel it's pursued us. To explain the third adoption, here are some updates on the first and second adoptions.

First adoption. In April I hired a searcher to find Bear's birth family. I did this with a group of families with children who come from the same region of Ethiopia. In May, he found them. We now have some answers to questions that we have wondered since Bear's referral.  I am deeply grateful to have made contact, and finally pass along the message that he is a happy, healthy, cherished son. The need to communicate this to her is something that has literally burned on my heart since he was placed in my arms. I treasure the bits and pieces of his early story that we learned. We have not decided how we will share the information or the photos with Bear, but we know we have them when he is ready. In a strange way, making contact with his birth mother released a sense of undone-ness I've had about Ethiopia. I know she is alright, and she knows he is alright. We've established a plan for periodic, ongoing communication. There is a freedom in this and a little bit of closure.

Second adoption. We received May numbers but I never posted them. May was a month of emotional processing for Dodd and for me. At the same time that I was searching for Bear's family, there was discouraging news coming from our agency about the Ethiopia program. As a result of complicated dynamics in Ethiopia, our agency closed the program to new families, discontinued the wait list, laid off several employees in the US, and just yesterday we learned that the director of the Ethiopia program, Almaz, whom we respect and one of the most important factors in our decision to adopt from Hannah's Hope again, has chosen to leave. They are preparing wait list families for a 3-4 year wait. The longer wait is being attributed to troubling issues aground in Ethiopia. For the first time I was hearing official word, not just speculation, that there are more families looking to adopt infants than there are infants to adopt. While we long with all our hearts for another child, we don't want to contribute to a supply and demand situation involving children. This does not mean there aren't infants in Ethiopia who legitimately need families, but there are fewer who are adoptable and "paper ready." We have been wondering for some time where this leaves us. With Bear's 4th birthday approaching, our desire to bring home a next child has intensified knowing that Bear is growing up without a sibling, and the gap between him and baby brother/baby sister is widening.

Third adoption. Last year our agency contacted us about a pilot program they were beginning in Haiti. Days after contacting us however, Haiti closed down adoptions and AGCI decided not to continue conversations with prospective families until they knew the status of the program. In April, they contacted us again to let us know the program was active again and they have waiting children. I called to find out more. I did this casually, knowing that we are grafted to Ethiopia. We've lived and breathed Ethiopia for the past 5 years and feel a strong sense of calling to bring home a brother or sister who shares Bear's heritage. But the dynamics I described above have been making us question whether we should open ourselves up to a new direction.

Reflecting now, Ethiopia has been a bridge to Haiti for our family. We have felt a distant connection to the country since Bear came home. He had been home less than two weeks when the 2010 earthquake struck the island. After being in Ethiopia just a few weeks earlier, holding our son finally, and seeing with our own eyes the devastation inflicted by poverty, we were very sensitive to the stories of children orphaned by the earthquake. At home, we were asked so many times by strangers we met at the store, at church, etc. if Bear was from Haiti. My OBGYN, originally from Haiti, spent months in country after the earthquake, caring for pregnant women and infants. She told me hard hard stories of mothers who had given up hope. She talked to me about adopting from Haiti at the time, but we had a brand new baby at home and could not. We made a small donation to an orphanage in Haiti that our Ethiopia travel friends, the Andersens, had a connection to. Since then, we've received updates a few times a year from the orphanage with photos of Haiti and all the children. Every once in a while, I've shared an update with Dodd, especially when a particular little face would get to me. Then one of us would ask the other, "What about Haiti?"

But we knew adopting from Haiti was not something either of us felt hardy enough for. In Haiti, it takes 1-3 years after referral to bring a child home. The years of waiting for Bear, before ever seeing his face, left me pretty fragile. The 3 months of waiting to bring him home after seeing his face were very difficult. The thought of waiting for a child years after knowing him or her seemed almost intolerable. In that time, your child is growing up in an orphanage or foster home. No parent wants this for their child, especially adoptive parents who have learned how critical attachment is in the first 36 months of life. However, as time has passed, I have grown stronger. And as Bear has gone from infant, to toddler, to little boy, I feel more confident in our parenting abilities. We are better educated and better equipped to parent a child coming from a difficult situation. We also learned about Rivers of Hope, AGCI's partner in country. Story after story about the exceptional love and care the children receive, and a woman who runs the home who reminds us a lot of Almaz, whose passion and professionalism we respect so much.

On a call, the AGCI case manager confirmed what I already knew. They are having a hard time finding interested families who meet Haiti's requirements for all the children they have at Rivers of Hope. The requirements are that both parents are at least 35 years old (hate to admit that we more than qualify), have been married at least 10 years (going on 17 should suffice), and have no biological children in the home (got that covered). Although dispensations are commonly given for families with bio children, it appears we have an ideal family profile. (I'm sure that makes some of the people who know us well laugh out loud.)

The case manager also explained that there is no wait list. AGCI cannot pre-refer a child, but they won't accept a new family into the program if there is not a child already at Rivers of Hope who can be referred to that family. Then we heard there are two infants in particular who could be waiting for some time before finding families. I could hardly choke words out of my mouth to respond to this new information on the phone call. While we are waiting in line for an undetermined amount of time for a child in Ethiopia where there are tons of loving families ready to adopt, there are two babies in Haiti waiting and not enough families who meet the requirements to be their parents. But we meet the requirements. Could we really walk away? I was compelled but knew Dodd would never be comfortable with the 1-3 years. We didn't talk about it after the call. However, unbeknownst to me, he was processing. And unbeknownst to Dodd, I was researching my heart out, thanks to some fantastic resources other Ethiopia travel friends, the Boyces, referred me to. It was a week later, when I came home from a business trip, that I asked him what he was thinking. His response floored me. "I'm thinking we should do it!" All I could say was "Really?" And he responded with a steady, gravity filled "Yes!" Then in Dodd's typical way, he gave me several, well thought out, really sound reasons that we should. Then, he quietly left the room. He came back with tears in his eyes and showed me a picture that he'd spent a lot of time looking at while I was gone. It was a baby boy at Rivers of Hope. Dodd went to the agency's website while I was away and this little one got him. My husband who does not make emotional decisions, fell in love. To roughly paraphrase Nelson Mandela, the head and the heart are a formidable combination. I knew at that moment that we were in, and we weren't going back.

So it is with excitement that we begin a third journey to a child.  This time it really feels like we are being called to a child. We won't know anything about him (or her) for several months, but we know he's there, and he's waiting. I can emotionally feel his presence out there! We are encouraged that Bear can start his relationship soon with his baby brother/baby sister, albeit a long distance relationship. We plan to take advantage of the waiting time by traveling as often as the budget will allow to visit. We are also mentally preparing ourselves for the ups and downs, frustrations and unknowns that come with being in a pilot program. And we aren't giving up on Ethiopia. We are keeping our Ethiopian adoption active and using the waiting time to see what reforms and changes occur in the coming months and years. I have been working like crazy to get a third dossier and home study completed and have all but one document ready to go. I hope to have dossier and home study submitted, translated and ready to send to Haiti in September. Knowing there is a specific little one waiting provides a lot of motivation to move fast!

If you've read this far, thank you. If you are one of the handful of people praying us through the last few months, thank you. Especially to my sister, Mary Beth, thank you for all your prayers! We feel really good about this, and have had several little affirmations for the decision since we made it. We view this as answered prayer. I am going to attempt to share a lot of details about the process as we go just in case there are others who may be considering??


Sunday, July 28, 2013

Four year old in the house!


Happy Birthday Bubba Joe, we love you so, don't you know!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Prayer

If there's a road I should walk, help me find it.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

April Numbers





#34 girls
#25 boys
#13 siblings

We would love to see more referrals. Bear has scissors ready. :)

Sunday, April 14, 2013

March Numbers

When we went on the wait list this time around, Bear wasn't quite 2. He was still too little to understand what was going on. Now here we are, almost 2 years later. He is 3, going on 4, and I realized it's time to include him more directly in the waiting. Not too long ago, he and I spent a really sweet afternoon making countdown chains. One for baby brother, and one for baby sister. We still need to make one for siblings but we ran out of time and energy. Made me really feel how much further we have to go on the lists. It took a long time to make the chains! All that cutting, taping, and stickering. It was good to use up a lot of old scrapbooking supplies. He was so focused, and really got into chain making and counting. Once the chains were done, we made a special trip to Target and he got to pick out his very first pair of scissors. QUITE exciting. He gets to cut a link from the chain each time we learn of a referral. I'm excited to get him excited about referral news and pray together for the family that was just matched. Here are the two chains, hanging on the mantel near the kitchen table.



Our new way of marking time. When we made the chains, we were #37 on the girls list, #28 on the boys list, and #13 on the siblings list. Below, Bear is attempting to show you that the chain is much longer than he is. With any luck, he'll keep growing and the chain will keep shrinking. I pray the chains shrink faster than he grows. He's growing way too fast by the way. His size 11 feet are looking huge.



Today we cut the first links from the chain. (No referrals today, we're just getting caught up.)


Getting scissors ready. It's all about the tools.



Cutting!



And new numbers are, drumroll please...




#35 girls
#27 boys
#12 siblings


For some perspective, my friend Molly remembered that when we went on the waitlist for Bear, in June of 2009, our first number was #12! (I love you Molly for remembering that!) I'm a little embarrassed to admit I was disappointed with our number back then. I had hoped we would be #8! Some nerve. :) We've been waiting almost 2 years to get to where we started the first time. Ethiopian adoption has changed, especially with our agency. But we've learned to trust in the timing. I have more to share on trust later.


Cold, windy, rainy Spring here. Can't wait to put winter coats away and see some flowers. Bring on Spring!