Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Like Getting a Positive

The tension was too much. Still hadn't heard from AGCI with a million crazy thoughts hatching as to why. Finally called to ask for an update. Long story short, because of some miscommunication between us, our home study agency, and AGCI, they didn't realize we were ready to go on the waiting list. Oh my gosh! How could this be? I almost lost my lunch. Kiersten called back right away when she realized what happened and gave us our numbers.

So.....

We are #12 on the boys list and #13 on the siblings list!

I had a permanent smile on my face at work. Could NOT stop smiling. It's hard to explain to people who aren't familiar with the process why going on a waiting list is an elation filled moment.

Lots of people have asked, "what does this mean?" My attempt to explain. When a child is ready to be placed with a family, AGCI will review the child's profile, then evaluate the parameters of the family at #1 on the list. The parameters center around age, gender, and special needs. If there is a match, a referral is made. If there is not a match, they move to the family at #2. As children are placed with their families, we will move up the list. Our parameters approve us to adopt a boy or girl 0-12 months, or siblings 0-12 months, whichever comes first. It's much more likely a boy will be ready for placement before siblings, but we will go on the sib list just in case a miracle set of twins need a home at just the moment that we are at the top of the list. We love girls too but that list is much longer. We would rather give our spot on the girl list to a family specifically called to adopt a girl and hang with the guys this time around.

So I have to say, the list has changed my mind.

I've been unsure about how best to share the news of our adoption with friends, family and colleagues. I think because I am unsure, when I've told the news, they are also unsure of how to respond. When you say, "we're pregnant" everyone knows what to do. There aren't social norms yet for this. At least not in our current circles.

Until today, I had decided to announce our "pregnancy" with the referral. But holy smokes, this wait list milestone really feels big. I think I feel pregnant. There are still "9 months" ahead but this feels pretty official. I decided that this is the positive we've been waiting for. The referral will be more like that incredible first image of our child when he becomes that much more real to us.

Wow, it's been fun and encouraging to follow along with the families we've met through blog world. BIG congratulations to those who have joined the list within the past week! And we are so excited for you guys who are so close!

Now I can stop checking my email and voicemail incessantly. And maybe we can enjoy the beginning of the first trimester. :)

12 comments:

  1. Congratulations!! We just found out tonight as well. What a wonderful moment! It all just seems so real now somehow. Looking forward to sharing this journey with you! Whohoooo! We're on the list! =)

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  2. Thank goodness you called!! I know, sometimes it feels like you're "bothering" them or something, but they are always so sweet about answering questions, etc., as they can. And that is wonderful that you're on the waiting list!! I totally understand about not knowing how to tell people. That was really difficult for us the first time around, too. I think people were SHOCKED by the news. But most were beyond happy for us. :)

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  3. Praise God!!! I've been checking back on you guys, and hoping there would be a new and exciting post, and this was fantastic!! It does feel like a pregnancy, huh?!?! Congrats... it sure seems like we will be traveling together!!! :)

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  4. congrats!!! we just sent our Dossier yesterday, so AGCI will be receiving it tomorrow!!! We should be on the waitlist soon!!!

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  5. Welcome to the journey! It is amazing and unpredictable, but the best thing you will ever do. I understand on the social normal of adoption; people do not know what to do, but they will when you get closer. Just get use to a lot more questions and some are interesting. So excited for you!
    Thanks for your support.
    Carrie
    www.promiseinethiopia.blogspot.com
    www.stammfamily.blogspot.com

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  6. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! This is a HUGE step! It is SUCH an amazing feeling to have the dossier and home study and fingerprinting and EVERYTHING finished so you can now sit and wait for Ethiopia to match you with YOUR child. Amazing! And you guys are not going to be waiting very long...the boy list is flying. So exciting!

    Theresa (on AGCI List Serv....somewhere in the top 5 for a girl)

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  7. Hey Guys! Welcome to the wait- way better than paperwork land, can I add you to my AGCI blog roll??

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  8. Thanks for the post! I am soooo glad that you went ahead and called. I finally broke down and called too because we were suppposed to get a call on Monday with our number and we never did. I think they are just crazy busy since it is just the two of them right now. Anyway, sooooo excited that you got it all straightened out and are now on the list!! =)

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  9. congratulations!!!!It is like being pregnant (although I wouldn't know). Your emotions are all over, you are anxious about things, you have that nesting instinct, and you are protective of that soon to be in your arms life that lives thousands of miles away right now! Enjoy!!!

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  10. Congrats! It's such a fun, exciting process. And it really goes by FAST (at least the AGCI process seems to). I thought it would seem to drag out forever but since we've been on the list, I've felt like there's hardly enough time to get the house and baby gear ready, figure out what to pack, etc... It's a wild ride and we're having a blast on it. Can't wait to find out what your new number is. Look forward to following your journey.

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  11. Any news on a new number yet? We still haven't heard. Neither has Audrey. Beginning to wonder if we should call...
    Hope you're having a good week!

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  12. Audrey just thought they might be #1 for a minute because the family in front of them got a referral but she later found out that that family had different parameters so we think they are maybe #3. Hope that helps clear things up a little. Hoping for a number for all of us today!!! Did you see this? http://ethioadoptionnews.blogspot.com/
    Loved the "are we crazy?" PS =)
    At least we are all crazy together ;)
    Feel free to email me at heatherlou02@yahoo.com.

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