Family Part 2

Once again, love flew to Wisconsin this winter. Dodd's mom and dad left recently after spending a week with us and their newest grandson. Once again, it made us really happy to watch our parents love our son so wholeheartedly and to watch him soak up their love like a sponge.

I've often heard that having a child helps you see the world through new eyes. I find with Bear I am looking at our families especially with new eyes, and appreciating them more than ever. I'm aware of legacy, realizing how their life stories impact his.
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Bear shares a special fact of life with his Grandma Jean. They were both born on the continent of Africa. Dodd's mom was born in Nigeria. Her mother from the US, and her father from Scotland, met on the mission field, married and had 5 children there. They continued their work in Nigeria for several years before returning to the states.

Adoption runs in Dodd's family. Dodd's parents created their family through adoption. So did his aunt and uncle. I love that adoption is so normal to them. It's just family, down and dirty, plain and simple, hardly a topic of conversation. I love how this will impact Bear as he grows up.

After talking with him mom recently, I learned that a seed for adoption was planted a generation earlier in her family. Her parents tried earnestly to adopt a boy while they were in Nigeria who needed a family. This would have been unusual and controversial at the time, and the village leader decided against the adoption. There was no such thing as international adoption and few transracial families in the 1940's. But they loved him and wanted to share their family.

Commitment also runs in this family. We celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary just before we left for Ethiopia. They received a note from a friend they thought was funny and shared with lots of people that day. Just because it's been 50 years, don't assume it's going to work! His parents know and understand how life's relationships are a work in process. Each day is a new day, you have to decide to make it work. And they understand that Christ can solidify commitment when the going gets tough. They understand it because they've lived it, with each other, and with their kids.
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I read a quote while waiting to bring Bear home. I think of it all the time. I consider it an anthem of sorts for the family Dodd and I are building.

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Blood is thicker than water. But love is thicker than blood.

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I am realizing Dodd's parents are living this infront of us.

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Bear, you have great grandparents!

Pull Ups

With the weather getting warmer, I let Bear go without socks for the first time downstairs. Much to his delight, he discovered bare feet give him traction on wood floors.

I received an SOS call from him and found he had pulled himself up on the end table and cleared out the books on the bottom shelf...

But he didn't want my help...


He wanted to read! Could our son be motivated by...literature?...
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Or perhaps just old books? Below, he climbed UP on the shelf so he could look at the book DOWN on the floor. Not perfect logic, but you have to admire all of that effort...

After assisting him safely off the shelf, while I was celebrating my son's newfound love of good reading and restacking the books a little higher, I heard another SOS call and found this in the kitchen...

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So he's motivated by grapejuice.

Then yesterday I discovered this...

So much for our budding reader, bibliophile or vintner. I guess he's motivated by...pulling himself up. I guess this means it's also time to move more stuff.

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Happy Spring! Almost here!

Checkup

Bear saw the doctor yesterday for his 6 month checkup. (He is about to turn 7 months but we're catching up.) He is one healthy little dude. He's grown 1.25 inches in the past 6 weeks and gained 2 pounds. We figured something was going on because he feels like a lead balloon in our arms and most of his 6 month pajamas are getting too short, causing his legs to bow in a cute way when he wears them.

On the recommendation of two different physicians, we are revaccinating him as a precaution. Once again, he gave the nurse a run for her money as she gave him 5 more shots. He is so wiry and strong, he can kick and wriggle away from the most experienced medical professional. It took 4 of us to hold him down last time when they drew blood for labwork. I let Dad hold him this time for the shots. Last time I unexpectedly burst into tears and upset our little guy almost more than the pokes did.

Each time our pediatrician scratches his head in amazement at how healthy Bear is, I think of a comment the international adoption specialist at Children's Hospital made when we first came home from Ethiopia. After a one hour examination, he told us Bear's biological mother did us a tremendous favor in breastfeeding him as long as she did. I also think of all the prayers offered in the past year by people we know and people we don't for our son. These thoughts make me emotional.

I asked the doctor if he knows of any medication that will help stall the growth and development process for a while. I told him I am alarmed that my baby might be evaporating. He said he is not aware of any such medication.

I am glad I took the photo below last month. This face, with this expression, was just about all I saw, day and night, 5 or 6 weeks ago. I almost didn't take the photo because it seemed like a routine image I would have before me every day. I wasn't prepared for the moment to pass so quickly. But I am so glad I had the moment.

Now I'm looking at the goofy face below each day. Now I live in this moment, knowing that it too will pass.

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I will admit, it's a lot of fun at the moment. :)

Crawler in the house

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Things are moving in our house.

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The Oaxacan vase from the honeymoon in Mexico. It sat at the fireplace hearth for 13 years. Now on a ledge 7 feet high.

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The cute, if slightly rusty, cast iron insects picked up at an estate sale. Now on the mantle, 5 feet up.

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The plastic caps on the doorstop springs. Not sure how we're going to handle that.

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Tablecloths. About to become a thing of the past.

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Even the cats are moving around. Their well established traffic patterns interrupted by an 18 pound grabby fellow.

All because the little person who moved in in January is now on the move.

Bear is crawling. Life is changing.

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Confidence

One moment pul-ease!

Determination

Satisfaction

Family

My family flew to Wisconsin in the month of February to meet Bear. This is a big deal for people from a temperate climate who do not own winter coats and/or do not like (hate) to fly in icy weather. Two weeks ago Bear met his grandma, grandpa, aunt, and uncle for the first time. I am reminded of the good and particularly special things that are characteristic of my family. Adoption was our decision, not theirs. To my knowledge, this is the first adoption on my side of the family tree. When we started the process, I think they had some degree of concern for us that we might be in for heartache, but they supported us regardless. And then they walked alongside us, learning with us and celebrating each completed step in the process. Then they loved him, because he was part of the family. And this past week, as they got to know him and his funny personality, I watched them fall in love with him. Falling in love is only possible with open minds and hearts, and this is what I particularly love about my family. It made my heart soar to see our son play and laugh with his family that cheered him home, and have everyone together, celebrating with us this incredible gift we've been given.

Playing piggie with Grandma.

Watching the Superbowl with Grandpa.

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"Sucking face" (as Grandma calls it) with Auntie MB

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Hangin' with Auntie and Uncle

Love you guys!

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(Being private is another characteristic of my family. So these photos might not last long on the blog. I did not ask permission before posting!)

1st Post Placement Visit

Our homestudy social worker came to the house this morning as part of requisite post placement follow up. She will write reports on Bear's development and how he is adjusting to us, and us to him every 3 months for the first year. After that, we will write our own reports about him every year until he's 18. The reports, with pictures, go first to AGCI and are then forwarded to the Ethiopian government. Almaz said she isn't sure anyone at the government offices are even reading the reports at this point but we still take some comfort in knowing a foreign government has enough interest in the children's well being to require this.

Our social worker is a licensed attachment therapist. It was reassuring to hear her say that Bear appears well attached and bonded. Dodd asked her what made her think this. Some of her observations were interesting. For instance, when Dodd met her at the door with Bear in his arms she observed the way Bear held tightly to Dodd. Also the way he looked to Dodd first for cues as to whether or not she was trustworthy. Bear greeted her with a smile after the cue from Dodd, but stayed close to Dodd. She said he is completely comfortable in our arms. She also said she doesn't think we need to cocoon with him anymore. While we probably won't stop cocooning completely, hearing her say this eases my mind. Maybe he and I can come out of solitary confinement a little more often. Hallelujah!

Talking with her about our time in Ethiopia and all about the little guy who has captured our hearts was pure indulgent fun. Every day we thank God for the blessing this boy is in our lives. Today we realized even more deeply how blessed we are as we replayed the last 7 weeks for Deb. We couldn't stop gushing about our son.

1st Post Placement visit done. Looks like we get to keep him!

Does love get any cuter?

These photos are already about 3 weeks old but I love how much of Bear's personality they capture. Our baby is working very hard to be a boy. He's growing too fast! I can see how much he's grown just since these were taken. He pretty much kills us with cuteness.

For the record, the mohawk is 100% natural. :)