When He Cries

Looks like an angel when he's sleepin'

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There's a little piece of heaven where he lies

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Looks like an angel when he's sleepin'

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But he looks like Charles Bronson when he cries.

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He looks like Charles Bronson when he's cryin'

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He doesn't have a mustache but he's tryin'

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When he's content he's like a present sent from paradise

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But he looks like Charles Bronson when he cries


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Lyrics from the song When He Cries, by Sara Groves.

Giggles

Photo Shoot

Jeesh, I am a bad blogger. Thank you for everyone who's checked in to make sure we are ok! We are are doing great. Bear is growing like crazy. In the absence of a real post with words, I am posting pictures from his first photo shoot from last...March. He was 7 months and toothless when they were taken. Yikes, the photos are already 4 months old.

I should credit Liz from Stella Photographs for the photos. If you live in the Milwaukee area and are looking for a photographer who can capture the spirit of a child, I would highly recommend her. I like that she comes to the house so Bear felt at ease and the photos feel even more personal to us.

So here they are for anyone who still checks this blog. I hope to get a few more posts out this month. Lots to talk about with a busy boy in the house! Have a happy 4th!

10 Months on Earth

Bear turns 10 months this week. I remember a James Dobson comment from many years ago when he observed how it takes a baby just 10 months to go from complete dependence and innocence to a willful little person who doesn't need your help. At least in the baby's mind.
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We are seeing Mr. Bear's will emerge. Little seeds of mischief are starting to sprout. I suppose this is a sign he is a normal child. Until this point, we've enjoyed the luxury of parenting a baby. There is no need for discipline with little ones. Now for the first time we are having to correct behavior. He is biting, mostly me. It started out innocently, just an interesting sensation for him with new teeth. But now it really hurts when he bites and he finds our reactions hilarious. Instead of simply distracting him like we've done with other behaviors in the past, we have to address the issue. We tap his mouth and firmly say 'no bite.' Then we disengage from him for about 60 seconds to create a consequence for the biting. So far all it seems to have done is encourage him to bite more. And laugh more. Naughty! I guess we are going to have work on our disciplining techniques.
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Oh, the joy of being a boy. He learns about his world by pounding on it, pushing it, or putting it in his mouth. If something is in his way, for instance the Pack n Play, little superman moves it. There have been times I thought he was chewing gum, and fished strange objects out of his mouth. Bark, broken plastic, cat claws, whatever he encounters along his happy little path. He also has a thing for paper products. If it's paper, it goes in his mouth super fast. Napkins, menus, toilet paper, mail, emergency contact cards, receipts, checks, the paper liner on the exam table at the doctors office. Dodd laughs and says Bear's facination with paper is yet another sign that he is the child of our hearts because I work with paper for a living.
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He just woke up from his nap and is telling me I need to play with him rather than blog. I guess it's time to close. I traveled to the East Coast on 2 separate trips in 2 weeks this month. Once for work, and once for a dear friend's wedding. Leaving him for several days was a heartache. Oh how I missed him. Bear and Dodd had a great time while I was gone though. Spending time with my boys was that much sweeter after being away from them. Here is a little video of how we spent our time when I came back last weekend. Watch him check in with Dad toward the end.

A little update

Four weeks ago....

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Bear had to start sleeping through the night in the crib without mom.

And he started daycare.

And he started wearing real clothes (shirt, pants, socks and even shoes) instead of jammies all day.

And 4 teeth stormed into his mouth all at once.

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And still he smiles.

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There have been lots of tears shed at daycare, and they haven't been all Bear's. That first day back to work I wasn't sure if I could leave him. But the teachers were fantastic and reminded me how close he is and told me to call 30 times a day if I need to.

The tears shed by Bear create a conflict of emotions. Though they shatter my heart when they come, they are evidence that he's attached to me, and that has been reassuring. I feel more confident in the strength of our little family unit now than I did 4 weeks ago. Of course there are moments of doubt too. They usually come when he doesn't cry as I leave. Which happens now about 50% of the time. Or when he feels distant. Thankfully, a good night's sleep usually bring us back to normal and I realize moods would happen with or without daycare.

All in all I would say the adjustment is going well. This doesn't mean it's all happy, but there seems to be a net positive effect for each member of our family. Being back at work, I feel more like myself which makes me a better mother and wife. Both of my boys benefit. Having less time together during the week forces me to be disciplined with our schedule, and more intentional when I am with Bear. He tells me when I am not fully present with him by being irritable and demanding. He rewards my attention with lots of big smiles, claps, and silly boy behavior.

There are little moments at work that remind me my life has changed. Walking into the bathroom and seeing milk stains on my shirt or snot on my slacks. Having a meeting and catching whiffs of sour baby on my sweater. Ah, makes me miss him. When I visit him during the day, he stops whatever he's doing, crawls over, waves his arms in the air and waits patiently to be picked up. Sure puts the trials of the workday into quick perspective.

I am learning that life is a continuous state of adjustment with a little one around. There is no end. Just as one thing stabilizes, something new comes along and everyone must adjust all over again. I'm sure we have many many cycles to go through. So far we are doing fine though.

We Are The Truth

To quote Julie, a gifted blogger, some international adoptions work out just fine.

Here's a picture of our son moving in for Bear Kisses. When overwhelmed with love for one of us, he stares into our eyes, smiles, opens his mouth, and sucks our nose, cheek, eye, or chin. This expression of love can last up to 3 or 4 minutes. If we are lucky, he leaves slobber and snot behind. I can't think of many things we look forward to more than Bear Kisses.
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Our family loves international adoption.

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A Message from the Joint Council on International Children's Services

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The tragedy surrounding Artyem Saviliev, the boy sent back to Russia on a plane by his adoptive family has cast a light on intercountry adoption that says it is not safe, the system failed and adopted children cause insurmountable problems. The heartbreak of Artyem’s abandonment has once again elevated a singular incident to a level which may result in the suspension of intercountry adoption. Suspending adoption, even temporarily, will only cause thousands of children to suffer the debilitating effects of life in an orphanage.
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As an adoptive family, we know that the outrageous and indefensible actions of one parent are not indicative of how children are treated by adoptive families. We know that families who encounter difficulties do not simply abandon their child. We know that help is available, that solutions are found and that families can thrive. And we know that suspending adoption does not protect children but only subjects them to the depravity of an institution…and an entire life without a family.

You can click here if you would like to learn more about how to help.

Happy Easter!

He is Risen! Joyful day!