New Numbers

We are home after a nice long trip to see family and friends on the West Coast. As we unpack and get back to Central time, I thought I would share new numbers.

Last month we were 109 on the girls list.

Now 102.

Last month 85 on the boys list.

Now 79.

Last month 42 on the siblings list.

Now 36.

There is one more new number in the house. This handsome devil was 1 before our trip and now he is 2! It's all pretty confusing for him. For the past few months if you asked him how old he was he would say 2. It was just a few weeks ago that he got the hang of saying 1. Now he can't figure out why 2 was the wrong answer last week but the right answer this week. I tried to get a picture of him in his suit showing his new number but he still holds up 1 finger. I will get some birthday photos posted soon. We are so proud of our 2 year old!

contento, felice, lieto, fortunato, dästänya

Where Else on the 4th of July?

I couldn't resist sharing some photos from our 4th of July parade yesterday. Where else but Wisconsin would you see this in a 4th of July parade? (Saving the best for last...)

Tractors...

More tractors...

Dairy Queen

The Famous Racing Sausages....yes sausages....here is The Italian, The Bratwurst, The Polish, and The Chorizo...

Bear to Dad, "Is a Polish Sausage really asking for Five??"

Here is one because I just have to show off a couple handsome guys...

And one for the Vets....

And last, but not least...where else but Wisconsin would it be socially acceptable for a farmer to drive 3 kegs on his tractor in front of thousands of children at a 4th of July parade? Ode to beer and cheese land...


Happy Independence Day!

Big Boys Go To The Dentist

Bear made his first trip to see the dentist today. Well, techically it was his second trip. His first trip came last month after he chipped his front tooth. But that only lasted a couple minutes and she just looked in his mouth and felt his gums. There were no instruments, no bright lights, no special gear or strange tastes. 

The instruments are the thing. I looked at everything laid out on the little swinging exam table with new eyes today. How does a 23 month old brain process all those crazy things the nice lady is saying she's going to put in his mouth?

I had no idea how this was going to go today. He's usually a pretty brave if highly wiggly little boy. Bear is always on the move. I was less concerned about him being afraid than I was about him grabbing stuff, squirming out of the chair and running down the hall with sharp, expensive loot in his hands.

Today, he was pretty cautious. He just wasn't quite sure about all of it. I was so proud of him though. He let our hygienist Kristi get a pretty good look inside, and count and brush his teeth. By the time the dentist arrived tho Bear was done. There was no way he was going to let that man look in his mouth. I had little legs around my waist and little arms around my neck that would not let go. We all decided not to push it. No reason to create negative associations the first time out.

Kristi said everything looks really good. Healthy gums, healthy enamel, all around healthy teeth. Makes me grateful and a little suprised. Dodd and I are always prepared for issues that might come from malnutrition or other health concerns but so far our little guy has none. Another indication to me that he was well cared for in his short life spent before us.

Here he is taking in in everything Kristi is saying.

Now he's contemplating making a move...

I love this picture. He's not too sure of what's going on but he's sticking it out anyway. You can see he has his hands positioned to make a fast move if necessary. And the shades!

You done good today kiddo!

Bear's Dada

Bear adores his Dada.

It's hard to describe the light that floods his eyes or how his little body bristles with delight when Dada comes home or calls from the road. Watching the two of them dance in the basement to The Police or any of Dada's other favorite 80's music cracks me up. The reckless squeals and belly laughs when they play hard together are some of the best poetry I've known in my life. Dada knows how to make his boy laugh.

Dodd has transitioned into fatherhood in a beautiful way. I knew he would be a good dad but I expected some degree of learning curve as we got used to the logistics of having a little person in the house. He didn't really get into the adoption paperwork process. He was somewhat uneffected by the paperwork milestones I was so excited about. He thought I was a little over the top with blog and listserv news. It concerned me a little that he wasn't more engaged though I knew he was committed to being a father. I also knew he started a new job in the middle of the process which was a distraction. He didn't really click in until we received Bear's referral. At that point Bear was real and Dodd was all in. Then Bear came home and before my eyes Dodd glided gracefully into fatherhood.

Though Bear has been pretty crazy about Dada from early on, their relationship solidified when I had to leave for a weekend last May. It was the first time I was away from Bear overnight since he came home on New Year's Day that year. My dear friend Julie was getting married in Washington DC and I was a bridesmaid. We couldn't travel as a family so I had to get on a plane and leave the boys behind. It was hard. I knew they would be ok but I couldn't help but worry a little. Dodd had never been completely on his own with Bear. Through my maternity leave and then when I returned to work I was the primary caregiver. Dodd had never had to get Bear ready AND himself ready all in the same morning. He had never had to drop him off and pick him up from school. He had never had to choose clothes and match socks, pack the diaper bag, bathe, feed, lotion, diaper, play, rock, comfort, etc. over multiple days. I figured when I returned home, at the least Dodd would be exhausted and want a break.

But he didn't. When I came home, the boys were just fine. It was obvious their connection deepened into something new and very special that weekend. And Dodd wanted more. He said to me a couple days later, "Beck, I love taking care of him." I must not have understood the intensity of his emotion because he stopped me, looked me squarely in the eye, and repeated, "Beck, I LOVE taking care of him,"

Perhaps what I find most beautiful about Dodd as Bear's father comes in the form of respect. Dodd treats his son with respect. He disciplines his son with respect. He plays with his son with respect. He talks to his son with respect. He talks about his son with respect. There is an element of honor in all of his interaction with his son, even when it's goofy talk, and even when he's frustrated. As a result, I think Bear feels deeply valued. The gentle, careful way his Dada treats him will help him understand his incredible worth as he grows up. This is a gift.

Happy Father's Day Dada. You are a good Dada. Mama and Bear love you.

Bear's excited to announce some numbers!

We are on the list! We have numbers. They are HIGH!

Girl 109

Boy 85

Siblings 42

Bear's teacher asked him when he's going to be a big brother. He shrugged his almost 2 year old shoulders, turned his hands up, and said "doan no." Asked if he wants a sister, he replies "yeah". Asked if he wants a brother, he replies "yeah". And that about sums it up...

Dodd was happy but a little quiet when I called to tell him the good news. I think hearing official numbers made the length of the wait for our next child sink in. It will likely be 12-18 months before we know who this child is. As a comparison, two years ago this month we went on the waitlist for Bear. Our first number was 12, and we first saw his face 3 months later. How things can change in 2 years! But over the years we have become good at waiting and will accept delayed gratification, especially for something (somebody) so worth waiting for.

And in the meantime, we have the bestest, busiest little guy to keep up with. Has anyone seen a size 6 sandal without a mate? :)



Closer to a Bun in the Oven

A little progress on the adoption that is making it feel real.

We received a fingerprint appointment from US Immigration (USCIS). AGCI's new requirement is that families must have immigration approval before going on the waitlist. After the homestudy is complete, this means approximately 3-4 more months of waiting before being waitlisted. I told my sister, in adoption world, going on the waitlist is like finally getting pregnant after a long time of trying. It doesn't quite feel real until you're on that waitlist.

USCIS scheduled our appointment for the second week of June. Dodd will be on a business trip that week and neither of us wanted to wait that long anyway. Many families on the AGCI listserv have posted about going to USCIS before the actual appointment, hoping to be fingerprinted early. We decided to give it a shot. We had nothing to lose.

I took Monday off from work. Bear and I met Dodd downtown. The USCIS woman was not thrilled when we told her our story but said they would try to squeeze us in with no guarantees they would have time. She warned it could take an hour, or it could take 3, there was no way to predict. We said we would wait. Then we walked upstairs to sit in the waiting room as our 22 month old rambunctious boy (who by the way is still not a US citizen, I MUST file those papers!) ran around to investigate as much of this new place as possible and jabber talked to the many hopeful immigrants in the room. I was not sure how we would contain him for 3 hours.

5 minutes later we were buzzed back downstairs. It took about 20 minutes for both of us to be printed. And then we were finished. That was it. Ah, one thing in the adoption process that went faster than expected.

The fingerprints go now to a central location that completes an investigation to determine if we are qualified to bring a foreign born child into the US. We have been warned that the investigation process is taking longer and it might be another 1-2 months before we receive the clearance that allows us to be waitlisted.

I left the next day for a business trip and, while traveling, received an unscheduled call from our caseworker. Because USCIS processing is taking longer than expected, AGCI made an exception and is allowing families who have been fingerprinted to submit their dossiers! That means the waitlist! Oh, but.....RATS....I was traveling and could not get our dossier paperwork pulled together! And there is one more step I've been waiting to complete so notarizations would not expire....state authentication. I called the Wisconsin Secretary of State Office as soon as my plane landed back on Wisconsin soil Thursday. I spoke with the woman who completes authentications. She said they would be closed 4 days for the Memorial Day holiday and then she is going on vacation. I asked to be transferred to the person who would be her backup while she's out. Without much concern she told me there is no such person. She's it. Ah, government services. How a state function can come to a grinding halt because one person goes on vacation is beyond me. My sister is having her reference letter notarized (thanks MB!) and we wait for this one last step with the state, maybe 2 weeks, then we can bestow a pile of paperwork on Toni at AGCI and finally get on that list again. Don't ya love adoption drama? I know this process and know there is much more difficult waiting ahead but it's hard not to get caught up in the excitement of it all.

Our new family picture infront of the immigration office in Milwaukee. We tried to explain to Bear that the first time we were there it was just Mama and Dada and we were getting ready for HIM. You can see he was more interested in the truck across the street. :)

After this was taken, Dodd went back to work and Bear and I played for a while at the Betty Brinn's Children's Museum. Lake Michigan was shimmery and the Milwaukee tulips looked like electric lolipops set against the open wings of the Calatrava. We ate an ice cream sandwich and delicious tamales from a street vendor. Then we went home and took a nap. Happy day!