Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Other Side

Our dear friend Julie gave us a gift. She is a nutritionist who works throughout the world with nutrition education. Her work took her to Ethiopia last year. She spent time in 3 different Ethiopian villages working with and learning from the communities she was visiting.

The gift she gave us is a view of the other side. The other side of the baby boy photos we look at every day. She gave us the photos she and her coworkers took in their Ethiopian travels. They are photos of vibrant people with strong spirits living in towns and villages that are likely very similar to Bear's.

The photos helped us connect with where Bear comes from as we spent part of the weekend writing a letter to his birth mother as well as preparing a list of questions for her. I also prepared a photo album for her that contains referral photos of Bear, of us, and where we live. After deliberating a while, I decided to include a picture of a rainbow that appeared over our house one day last summer. I have no idea if rainbows have the same sentimental significance in Ethiopia, but I wanted her to feel like there is something beautiful, something hopeful on the other side of her difficult decision.
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If things go as planned, these will be presented to her on Monday when (could be if) she arrives in Addis Ababa for court. I wonder if she's been contacted. I wonder what she is thinking about as she prepares to travel a long way to Addis. I wonder if she has been to Addis before. I wonder if anyone will go with her, if she will travel alone. We found out today that, at the very least, an agent from the regional orphange where she took Bear will accompany her.
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I wonder if she can sense my prayers for her. Maybe she is praying for us. For Bear.

Julie said it would be ok to post some of her pictures on the blog from time to time. These faces and places are too beautiful not to share. So I will conclude this post with a picture.
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Thanks Jules. Love ya sister.
Thanks too to Pells, Gothros, and Easts for help with the letter. So appreciated.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Two pieces of good news today

We have a court date! On November 2, the Ethiopian courts will decide if Bear will be legally ours.

I received an email from Immigration this afternoon. They have processed our I-600A and the I-171H is in the mail. Thank you for praying!

Please pray for the families still waiting to receive court dates. And please pray for the Derloshon family. Their little guy (5 weeks old!) was admitted to the hospital for pnuemonia. Thankfully the two baby girls who were sick last week have returned to Hannah's Hope. We are praying Baby Derloshon's stay will be just as short. So hard to be so far away.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Congressional Inquiry (and Referrals!)

Ah the joys of adoption paperwork.

In May we filed our "Petition for the Advanced Processing of Orphan" with Immigration.

In June we were fingerprinted. You may remember the dorky photo at the Department of Homeland Security. :)

In August I was concerned that we still had not received our "Notice of Favorable Determination." We cannot bring Bear home without this letter. I contacted our local agency to make sure our homestudy was sent. Then I contacted Immigation to ask if they had our homestudy and everything they needed. I received no response from Immigration. It hadn't been 90 days yet so I decided to wait before contacting them again.

This past Friday, still no letter. So I contacted Immigration again. This time they responded. "We have not received your homestudy. We will begin processing once it's received."

Aye yai yai. They must have lost the homestudy.

Here's some advice to everyone out there chasing the paper. When in doubt, call, email, etc. until you get the information you need! I wish I had been more insistent on asking for specific information throughout this process.

So today, I called our representative in Congress, Jim Sensenbrenner to ask for his assistance. His office is going to do a congressional inquiry on our behalf. He has a more direct line to USCIS.

As Julie put it this morning, this is not yet an emergency. I just need to make sure it doesn't become one shortly!

Moving on to the good stuff. Some families we've had fun getting to know this summer on the waitlist have received their referrals. Yeah!! Adam and Christie were right behind us on the list, separated by a mystery family. They received their referral of a wee boy (3 weeks old!) two weeks ago. And tonight the Jones family posted their referral news. A baby girl will be going home to join her parents and her big sister who is also from Ethiopia. And the Boyce family received their referral of their sweet girl the same day we heard about Bear. It sounds like she and Bear traveled together from the government orphanage to Hannah's Hope.

So much JOY! We celebrate with you all!

**Breaking news....add Dan and Tara Jean to the referral list. They got the call today!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Doors Open

It has been quiet the past few weeks. The doors of the Ethiopian courts have been closed. We all know they close every year for two months. But waiting, even for experienced waiters, is still a bit unnerving.

But there is joy in the land today with two pieces of news.

One. It's confirmed, the courts are open! And processing cases.

Two. An AGCI family passed court last night! This means the little lady they've been gazing at in pictures since August is legally theirs. Soon they will travel to bring her home. Congrats East family! So happy for you!

Such good, refreshing news.

Now there are two AGCI families who can use our prayers. They both have baby girls at Hannah's Hope. Both girls were taken to a hospital in Addis this week to be treated for pnuemonia. Andersens and Wrights, we hope the good news of today renews your spirits and gives you hope that these girls will get better and come home soon.

As we've prayed and felt our hearts ache for these families, it sinks in just how real and palpable the love is for these kids of ours. Does it matter that we've only seen our kids in photos? No. Does it matter that they are 8,000 miles away? No. Tell us our kid is in trouble and we would go to the ends of the earth for them. Right now.

I need to be careful. There's a mama bear inside getting restless!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Post referral paperwork complete

Who knew there would be so much paperwork to complete post referral? If you are interested in procedure like I am, here are the documents we've signed, notarized and FedEx'd:
  • Placement Agreement
  • Post Adoption Agreement (We agree to send photos and updates to Ethiopia after Bear comes home and until he's 18.)

  • Ethiopia Placement Agreement (We are aware the adoption might not go through for a host of reasons. The was the least fun document of the bunch.)
  • Medical Review (We've reviewed his medical records with an International Adoption Pediatrician and are aware of medical risks.)

  • Social Worker Release (Our local social worker gives her blessing.)

  • Media Release

  • Travel Release

  • Transition Plan

The Transition Plan is fairly extensive. It's 10 pages of essay questions. We attended a great conference call last week with the AGCI education coordinator that helped us complete the plan. She provided detailed instruction on how to help Bear cope with the anxiety that will come from leaving his world in Ethiopia and transition into our world. So much quality information. I will have to post more about grief, loss, attachment, bonding. Important stuff.

Now we wait for a court date. The courts in Ethiopia reopen next week. We would be pleased to hear about our date this month. We guess (hope) that date will be some time in November. The HH director will attend court on our behalf. Once the courts grant us custody, we can travel a few weeks later to bring this guy home. How about December? Maybe??

As of today, 2 weeks have passed since we first heard his name. 2 weeks ago, 2 weeks didn't seem like a lot of time. Now, 2 weeks represents 25% of his new little life. This period of waiting is eased knowing he is being well cared for at HH. Between sun time, massages, baths, many feedings, lots of friends, and lots of love and prayer from his special moms, we know he's in good hands and probably getting chunky.

I did buy him something last week. His first outfit from mom.

Now the nesting begins!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Sign and The Song of the Week

Dodd and I met in college. We were part of the same campus fellowship and lived in the same dorm.

One of the first things we found we had in common...we were nightowls.

It was not uncommon for us to pull all nighters, sometimes several nights a week, studying, talking, working on design projects, hanging out with friends, going to the beach, going for a run, going for a drive, going to Denny's to eat a Moons Over My Hammy breakfast at 3am. Ah, college life.

Anyone who knew us back then, knew this nocturnal thing about us.

Why blog about this?

After looking at Mr. B's photos for over an hour on referral day, I noticed a series of photos in which he was wearing a blue onesie with writing on it. Thinking it probably said something cool and Ethiopian, I clicked on a couple photos to find one I could read better.

What I read shocked me.

It was not Ethiopian (or Amharic), it was English.

"Dodd, read his onesie!" I whispered.

Dodd looked, squinted, paused, "No way!"

It's just such a random saying to put on baby clothes.

Do you want to know what it said?

Have I built up this up enough? :)

Let's let the picture speak for itself.





In case it's hard to read, the onesie says, "I pulled an all nighter."

Can you believe it?

This boy is so meant to be ours!

Last week I thought this was God's way of telling us "I chose this child for you."

Now a week later, I'm wondering if it's His way of telling us "I chose you for this child...cause there are gonna be plenty of all nighters in his (and therefore your) future!"

Unfortunately, the picture above is about all I can post on the blog of his image. Ethiopian policy says photos and specific information about him cannot be shared publicly until he's finally ours. This is trying for a proud mama who wants to share his sweet face, and those eyes, with you all.

He is just so much fun to look at. We've lost track of how many times a day we look at him.

You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off of you.
You'll be like heaven to touch,
I want to hold you so much,
At long last love has arrived,
And I thank God I'm alive,
You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off of you.
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I think the song sums it up pretty well.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Call

I've been concerned about Dodd missing The Call. He does not like cell phones. That he has one is a small miracle. That he turns it on from time to time, even more remarkable. Recently he's also been hard to reach at work. So I gave him a test call last week to get him prepared, and, well, he did not pass. I told him it's imperative he carry his phone at all times and KEEP IT ON. I was not sure though if my urging would work.

On Tuesday I had back to back meetings most of the day between 2 locations. A busy day. I had my phone with me and told everyone in the meetings if they heard drums I would have to excuse myself. At the 1pm meeting I held the phone in my hand in case it rang so I wouldn't disrupt the presentation. The meeting ran long. When it was over, I left the conference room and my cell voicemail light went on. I wondered how I could have voicemail if the phone never rang. I checked the call log and saw 2 MISSED CALLS FROM JULIE SALWASSER. MISSED calls?? No! Then I listened to the voicemail and it was from Julie AND Dodd. "Hi Rebecca, this is Julie. I'm on the line with Dodd and we are trying to get a hold of you." I ran back to my desk. Voicemail this time on my desk phone as well as email from Julie looking for me.

Wouldn't you know it, for the most important call of our lives, I was in the one area of the 1 million square foot building with no cell phone coverage. Yes, *I* missed The Call. Three times. And Dodd was Johnny on the Spot. Time for humble pie.

I called Dodd first. His first question was of course, "Where have you been??" I said I KNOW!! Now tell me about him!! But my dear husband didn't let Julie tell him anything without me on the phone. Jeez I love this man. So we called her together and got...voicemail. Called again, voicemail. I called the AGCI receptionist who told me Julie went to lunch and would be back in about 45 minutes. Lunch? Argh! Poor girl can't even go to lunch without crazed parents tracking her down. Dodd then told me he would be in a meeting and we would have to wait an additional 15 minutes after Julie returned to call her.

For the next hour, I didn't know what to do with myself. I told a couple close friends at work and emailed my parents what was going on. I also emailed my coworker to let him know I would have to cancel our afternoon meetings and let him know I was getting a little nutty. He said, so basically your water broke and you can't find the doctor? Precisely!

When 3:30 finally came and Dodd called me, we called Julie again, and got...voicemail. So I called the AGCI receptionist again who transferred us right in to Julie. She was on another call but was kind enough to put us on hold until she finished so we wouldn't have to hang up.

Then she came on the line to tell us about...him. The little one we have waited so long to know. She proceeded to walk us through all the known information. His birthdate, where he was born, his height and weight, when he arrived at Hannah's Hope, his birth family, his ethnic group, his family religion, his medical report, his lab results. I was strangely calm while she talked. That guarded heart of mine was faithfully on duty.

One thing I would like to share with those of you waiting for your call, if it can help you prepare. It's both joyful and painful. It's the paradox of adoption we were told to expect, but actually coming face to face with it was something different. At that moment on Tuesday, we were becoming part of his future. But in order for us to be part of his future, there was struggle and loss that had to come before. As our little guy was becoming a real person to us through Julie's words, so was his story. And his story, what little we know of it, is hard. It was one of the most joyful moments of our lives. And it hurt. It was a lot to take in.

After Julie shared all of his information, she told us she would send an email which would contain a lot of photos. Dodd and I had previously committed to taking a required class that night, so we agreed to meet at the class early to look at his photos together. When we were finally together about an hour later, we fired up the laptop, locked hands, took a deep breath, and opened the first photo. There he was. Him. Our future. Our heart. Our son. For the next hour we poured over the photos, looking at his hands, his feet, his legs, his eyes, oh those eyes, the shape of his face, his nose, his gummy grin, his fists. There were also a few of his sneer. Do babies sneer? This is a real Billy Idol, Rebel Yell kind of sneer. Let me tell ya, this little guy has attitude. If a few pictures of an 8 week old can be any indication, he's going to give us a run for our money. And he's beautiful. Amazing really.


Then the teacher arrived, and we had to sit through an infant care class with several pregnant women and their husbands. We kept his picture on the laptop in front of us. I wanted to leave in the worst way. I wanted to tell them we just had a baby. The only class info I remember is "call the doctor if baby's temp is 100.4 or higher." That class lasted 2 excrutiating hours! So we had to wait to call our families until we got home after 9pm. I realized my poor parents had to wait all day to hear about their first grandchild. I am sorry guys!

It was after we arrived home, wonderfully exhausted, that we noticed God had provided us with a sign that this boy is meant to be ours. But I will save that for the next post!