Adopted Again

This past week we turned one of the final pages in Bear's adoption process. We went to court to readopt him in the US and the state of Wisconsin. The end result of the hearing is a legal name change and a Wisconsin birth certificate.

Currently, US Immigration considers him a permanent resident with Ethiopian citizenship. Now that we have the Wisconsin birth certificate, we will file to make him a US citizen. Among other things, this will make voting, travel, and student loans easier for him in later years.

The agreement between Ethiopia and the US says that the adopted child cannot have dual citizenship. So in becoming a US citizen, he will no longer be a citizen of Ethiopia. This makes me sad. I wish so much he could have both. It also makes me sad that because he was not born on US soil, he is not eligible to become President of the US one day. Every kid in the US should have that possibility. We'll just have to settle for Secretary of State.

This day was really really fun and special. Dodd and I took off from work. I even managed to get all 3 of us dressed in coordinating attire. That rarely happens in this family. I've told Bear for the past few weeks that we would be going to court to see the judge and it would be fun.

He apparently thought that meant a party.

Bear clapped happily when the judge sounded his gavel and closed the case which made all of us in the courtroom laugh.
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Almost a citizen kiddo.



My friend Sharon, also a mom through adoption, shared this happy day with us and took some of the photos you're looking at. She told us that morning that her girls were adopted on the same exact day 17 years earlier!





After court, we had breakfast at an historic little restaurant along the river to celebrate. The sun was fresh and warm. The leaves continued their fall. We took our time. I sipped capuccino and Dodd sipped fresh oj while our boy scattered food about and waved to each new person who entered. And then he crashed. The End.



Great Map Resource!

This is for anyone struggling to locate a birthplace on a map.

My dear friend Julie works with a humanitarian relief organization and recently shared the ReliefWeb website. There is so much information here!

http://www.reliefweb.int/rw/dbc.nsf/doc100?OpenForm

I labored a long time to locate Bear's birthplace on a map after his referral. I eventually found it thanks to another adoptive father with a child from the same region. He sent a UN relief map that showed the dirt roads that lead to Kacha Bira and surrounding areas. I had not thought of researching through a relief channel but was so glad he had.

On the ReliefWeb website, there is a tab just for maps, and it can be filtered by country. Besides locating a remote village, these maps will also tell about circumstances effecting a region. Issues of food security, relief programs, policy, drought, floods, conflict, transportation, migration, and many others. The information is current so it's possible to follow what is going on in a region of interest. I am intensly interested in the connection this provides us to Bear's birthplace and the place his birth family is living right now.

For fellow families out there with children from the Kembata region, also called the Kembata Tembaro Zone or KT, search for any Ethiopia maps with SNNP in the title. You will see KT in the middle of the region.

I hope this helps with the search!

Where Joy Begins

If you were reading this blog a year ago today, you read this. If you weren't here a year ago and are interested in one of the biggest days of our lives, you can read this post. Today is the anniversary of Bear's referral.

It does not seem possible a year has passed since we first set eyes on Bereket. I've walked around all day today smiling thinking of it. I cried thankful tears tonight as he fell asleep in my arms. I still think of referral day as a day of birth. Of course Bear has a birthday, the day he was born on earth. Although September 22 is not where his story begins, it is the day he was born to us. It was the day that our dreams of a child became flesh and blood. He became known to us.

Our caseworker Julie told us she had lots of photos to send with our referral documents. She was right. 49 photos to be exact, and we were only expecting 2. It felt like we hit the jackpot on referral day. While we waited to bring him home, there wasn't a pixel in these photos that escaped us. Not a single letter or detail in his referral documents we didn't pour over, over and over again.
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Tiny 8 week old babe.
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On the move. That's our Bear.



Laughing. That too is our boy.



Here is one example of the sneer mentioned in the referral call post.

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Before you were conceived, we wanted you.

Before you were born, we loved you.

Before we knew your face an hour, we knew you were ours.

When at last we held you in our arms, we knew we would die for you.
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Bereket, we waited our entire lives for you. What a beautiful day.

Happy referral-versary baby boy!

What a difference shoes make

You put real shoes on the boy and in that moment he is transformed from baby to toddler.
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Now he's "easy breazy, stomp around the house like I own it" Bear.

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Now he has places to go and people to call on the.....(TV remote) phone.

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After a summer of bare feet, Bear loves big boy "soos."

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Sure is going fast.

Food

Bear is one good eater. He has eaten just about every food we've put infront of him the past few months. Some of the interesting foods he likes include roasted red peppers, guacamole, spicy Thai curry, and the one that surprised me the most, kimchi. (Pickled cabbage for anyone who has never had it, a Korean favorite.) The picture above was taken after a thoroughly enjoyed peanut butter sandwich.

I thought I would write a little bit about food now that he's one. After talking with his pediatrician at the one year checkup, we made a couple decisions about feeding. One decision is adoption related and one is not.

Vegetarian

Dodd is a strict vegan so he does not eat anything that comes from an animal. This includes all dairy, i.e. eggs, cheese, cows milk, and butter. I am not a vegan and enjoy eggs, cheese, butter, as well as a good steak every once in a while. The people who know us well know this was a source of conflict in the early years of our marriage. Dodd quiety went vegan a few months after we were married. I know I shouldn't complain if the worst my husband does is eat vegetables, but I had a hard time accepting his decision for several years. We worked through it and found alternatives that allow us to enjoy food together. However, our friends and family have been curious to see how we would approach food once there were kids and, well, so have we.

I think we've come to a good compromise. We are raising Bear on a primarily vegetarian diet, not vegan, with some additional flexibility. We feed him mostly meatless. I do give him dairy products in moderation, mostly in the form of cheese. We make sure he is receiving sufficient proteins through legumes (lots of black beans, lentils, chick peas, kidney beans, vegetarian refried beans) and occasionally eggs in addition to the fruits and vegetables he eats each day. His teachers know our preferences and help us feed him consistently between home and school.

After the years of deliberation, I feel good about doing this. My primary reason for not raising him as a vegetarian was mostly social. I didn't want him to get stuck with one more thing that would make him different. But there seems to be more nutritional awareness now among kids and adults and I don't think being a vegetarian is as unusual, even in a cow state like Wisconsin. And just so he doesn't freak out about meat at a picnic or a birthday party, I slip in some chicken or pepperoni pizza every once in a while. (Mmm, thinking about pepperoni pizza is making me hungry. Why is pepperoni so good?)

Bottle Feeding

Now that he's a year, it would be appropriate to wean him off the bottle. As suggested in the photo above, he knows how to drink from a sippy cup. (And a Coke bottle and soda can by the way. Did he learn this at Hannah's Hope? We did not teach him.) But we decided to go with the advice of the adoption community and continue to bottle feed him until he's 18 months for the benefit of bonding. Although we no longer have big concerns about attachment, it's another one of those situations where we feel like it can't hurt anything. And I confess I enjoy it. 20 minutes is about what it takes for him to suck down a bottle. 20 precious minutes of snuggle time, hold his hands time, rub his legs and toes time, look into his eyes and sing to him time. He's such a busy boy, he isn't still for 20 minutes any other way. He gets a bottle in the morning when he wakes up, one or two before or after lunch, and one before bed. For now, I think he likes it. He uses a sippy cup with lunch but he still seems to find comfort and pleasure in taking the bottle and being close. We'll go with it for as long as he will.

Now we have to teach him how keep peanut butter sandwiches in his mouth and out of his hair.

If there's anyone else out there with experience raising kids as vegetarians I would love to talk with you. You can post a comment here or email me at milreb@hotmail.com.

Happy Labor Day!

Rites of passage

In the state of Wisconsin if a child is at least 1 year and weighs at least 20 pounds, he may become a .......Front Facer. We turned his carseat around a couple weeks ago. I couldn't wait for him to make the switch.
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Because I love seeing this face in the rear view mirror.

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And for more evidence he's growing up...

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He started a gotee. Or maybe more accurately a Soul Patch.

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Have a good week!

He is One!

Our baby turned one last weekend. What a day. What a week. He decided to walk on his birthday. We were so proud and so was he. He ate his first piece of cake, and had his first taste of sweets. He obliged party guests with a thorough smearing of cake all over his face, hair and body. He smelled like buttercream frosting for at least 24 hours after the party even with a hot bath.

The day brought us joy as we with our friends celebrated our little joy giver. The week brought me closer to his birth place and his birth mother. I will share more thoughts on Bear at One if I can find the words. I am overwhelmed by him. He is a gift. Bereket.