I feel like a bad mom. I was not able to help my son be content today no matter how hard I tried. He was fussy and generally agitated for no apparent reason. His agitation grew more intense as the day wore on. He was insanely high energy. Go go go. Kick kick kick. Move move MOVE.
He would not sleep. Just one brief nap all day. A couple times he was so tired he started to doze, I was hopeful, and then Boing! Big brown eyes popped open wide as he would wake himself up and start fussing again.
I sang to him, napped with him (attempted), tickled him, held him, fed him, read to him, walked him in the Ergo, walked him through the neighborhood in the stroller, gave him a bath and let him kick water all over the bathroom for an hour, let him jump around in the jumpy seat for 2 hours, swung him, made animal sounds for him, made Ethiopian sounds for him (explain later), threw him in the air, flew him like an airplane, danced with him, sat by the crib and held his hand through the slats as I pleaded with him to go to sleep. Even Baby Bach and the television did not soothe for long. And the tele is usually a sure thing, my last resort.
A few things that made him happy today. Diaper changes. He loves to kick his feet in his poop. Then suck on poop laced toes. Then squirm his way off the changing pad as I try to hold his legs and clean him up. Smearing the poop as he goes. Yes THAT made him happy. He thought that was really funny. He is also happy when I am loud and physical. The louder my sounds (he particularly likes it when mom barks like a dog or oinks like a pig in his face) and the more physical my play, the happier he was. But once my attention was diverted and I was not joining in his constant state of motion, he was unhappy again.
You should see how I look. I can hardly stand the sight of myself in the mirror. I've been in the same clothes for a couple days. I probably should have brushed my hair or my teeth before Dodd came home tonight. Ah, we were doing so WELL. We were having lovely, sublime days. He was so easy to please. A little regression today. I feel like we are back in Ethiopia. He kicked my butt. This is why all you people say parenting is a lot of work? Is my just turned six month old working me? Is this normal??
oh my gosh Rebecca - this is SO normal. I have to keep reminding myself (even now that we're on kids 3&4), that kids are people just like us adults. They have moods!!!!!! And those moods aren't always based on tangable things like hunger, sleep, comfort, diapers, etc. They are just in a mood...whiny, uncomfortable, impatient, you name it.....and for me it's all about surviving the day, which it sounds like you REALLY did. Survived. And none of us mommas look pretty after a day like that. And the good news is that their moods change as quickly our ours and likely he'll be back to his better self tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteYou're in good company, girlie. You're a mommy and you're doing AMAZING!!!!!! Wish we were in the same town to share daily battle scars. HA! :-)
love,
melissa
Awww...((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteYep, completely normal!!! Not only do babies and kids have moods and bad days just like adults...but I swear they have a special 6th sense of figuring out when we're getting the hang of their routines and expectations...so they go and change them all up on us!
Don't beat yourself up, sweetie...you're a "newborn mom" and doing just beautifully!
(And yes, this is why people say parenting is a lot of work. I'm just *beginning* to see it, as my Shannon just turned 13, but in the last few years, I have kept hearing how the baby/toddler years are actually the EASY ones?!? Eeek!)
I can remember when Shannon was itty, Patrick would get home from work and I'd go shower and brush my teeth while he entertained/took care of her. I just never had enough minutes to myself during the day to get that stuff done! LOL
So sorry you had such a rough day. It is draining when we can't figure out how to comfort our children. I know when Moses is especially cranky it is either gas or teeth. Highlands Teething pills are all natural and wonderful if you think he might be teething. They also help them calm down so they can sleep. You are doing great, and you are a good Mother. Today is a new day. He knows you love him.
ReplyDeleteI second the Highlands products. They can really help.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry it was a hard day. It is NORMAL. There are just days like that. It could be part of the grieving process for him. Keep telling yourself it will pass and it is just a day.
Praying tomorrow is better.
i hear you. there are always days that they are "off". or we are "off". or BOTH. he is working out his transition the only way he knows how. and you are helping him the only way you know how. which is beautiful, by the way, no matter what you see in the mirror. because that lack of being able to take care of yourself right now has a name. it's called "love". i am sure you are frustrated and exhausted (the closed eyes that boing open really make me crazy), but you are doing your job. you are loving him. hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any words of advice (no kids) but I hope tomorrow goes better!:)
ReplyDeleteTotally normal. You are NOT a bad mom. You are perfectly normal and so is your sweet babe. Praying that you feel that. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteYou are SOOOO not a bad mom! Days like this are normal, frustrately and exhausting but normal nonetheless. Hope today was better for you and Mr. Bear. Today I bribed my 2 year old to stay in the crib with the baby so I could shower and leave the house. Otherwise, there is no way I would have been able to...
ReplyDeleteYou are an AWESOME mom!!! It sounds like he is getting more comfortable with you, so he is letting out some of his deeper feelings. You are doing just the right thing by being by his side and loving him through it. Macy has her hard days too...yesterday was one of them. Some days she cries soooo much and other days she is such a happy child. I just remind myself that she has more going on in her heart and in her head than I have ever experienced in my lifetime. To see her come through it eventually shows her strenght and joy for life. He will be your happy baby again soon...but it's good that he trusts you to deal with those inner issues too. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI don't have much "baby" experience, but the important thing is: YOU SURVIVED. :) And, oh, how I know what it's like to end your day truly looking like a MOM--and not in the way you have always dreamed you'd look as a mom. Tomorrow, however, is a new day. Not to mention: You rock, and your baby is freaking ADORABLE! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so normal!!! We have two bio daughters 4 and 6, (#12 on waiting list at AGCI) and it takes some time to get into a routine - even when they came out of your belly :). And unfortunately, when they are so young, once you have a routine, it will change. I find that you just have to laugh at yourself!! Before you know it, you'll be handing him a bottle, changing his diaper all while talking on the phone. It just takes time! Sounds like you are a great mom!
ReplyDeleteVanessa
bonnerfamilyjourney.blogspot.com
Totally normal :)
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you're doing so great, Becky! Keep trying new things like you did, that's how you get through and sometimes land on a perfect way to get through a tough day/week/time... If it does turn out to be teething as my boys got a little older they LOVED frozen blueberries -- messy, but easy to pick up and soothing cool feeling. Frozen peas too... thought they're not as sweet. :)
ReplyDeleteI totally had a day like that the other day. I called my mom and asked, "What do you do when you are mad at your kid?" LOL...she had some ideas for me. Hugs! Its part of being a mom!
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